#i dont like the direction this platform has gone in!

[chryblossomjjk]

I haven’t read the weekend yet, but I’m definitely excited to read it. I saw one of you post and I agreed I feel like fanfics are phasing out here on tumblr because of the boys are enlisting. Like there were so many good writers that are no longer on here anymore. So many stories disappeared along with them that I would love to read again. You guys made this place fun and it’s a comfort zone. I’m scared and sad that once all the boys are gone, you guys would leave this place too. I just want to let you know that you guys are so talented, down to earth, easy to talk to, and make this place a comfort zone for us. I know this isn’t their page but thank you to @mercurygguk @kpopfanfictrash and of course you @chryblossomjjk

omg hi friend! i totally get what you mean! there’s such a sense of community on here that when people leave it genuinely feels like you’ve lost a friend! even if it’s someone you don’t interact with much like you just get used to their presence and when they’re not here it just feels… weird and sad.

and thank you so much! you guys have made this place so fun and enjoyable for me aswell. i adore this community fr!

[checkeredflagggs]

Glazed and Confused

Pairing: Lando Norris x Potter!Youtuber!reader

Summary: when lando fails to make a simple mug, fans direct him towards your YouTube channel

a/n: I took 1 hr long class on pottery and quit. Don’t like the feel of it, have mostly forgot literally everything about it so…🤷🏻‍♀️

a/n 2: I really struggled to get lando’s voice down and don’t really think I did. Oops 😬 will work on that for next time (also plz ignore that changing of the handles. I try to keep them accurate but again I’m not on those social media platforms so…)

a/n 3: I tried to make sure that this reader was never gendered or given a race — there’s one photo near the end that depicts 2 white smaller hands but I think that is the only time. Please let me know how I did, if you could

Pottery Made Easy has posted

potterymadeeasy

liked by user1, user2, and 2316 others

pottermadeeasy: my newest video (mugs and bowls, pt 2) is now up! In it I show you ways to add a little flourish and decorations to the pieces you made from part 1!

view all comments

user1: thank you your majesty! Easy to understand and so so easy to follow!! (unlike my professor 🙄😬)

user2: right? If they either stopped mumbling or spoke up…

user1: might be asking too much of someone born in the 1800s 😭🙄

user2: unfortunately

user3: god your work is so gorgeous. Do you sell anything?

potterynadeeasy: occasionally! I’m based in Monaco rn and a friend owns a shop and sometimes they let me use a shelf or 2

user4: ohh! I’m in France. Plz plz plz make an announcement when you will next have some ready! I’d love to own a piece

potterynadeeasy: of course lovely 😊 vague plans are to have some ready in the next week or 2!

user4: seriously?!? Marking the calendar right now!

user3: you have no idea how jealous I am right now…

potterynadeeasy: dm me! I might be able to ship it to you depending on where you are!

user3: faints bless you

user5: landonorris here! They might be able to help you

user6: be so for real right now. It’ll take a miracle to help landonorris

user7: I hate to be a negative nancy but…yeah. That latest stream was bad bad landonorris

user8: I dont even know…that clay flew… landonorris

user9: would hate to be his cleaner…

lnupdates

liked by user5, user6, user7, and 1,897,455 others

lnupdates: some of our favorite moments from Lando’s latest stream where he was attempting to make a ceramic mug…bowl? It was certainly an interesting one to watch

view all comments

user5: interesting is one way to put it. Tragic is another

user6: no but really…that was. I legit have no words

user7: he needs to watch potterymadeeasy! I love their videos

user8: oh? I haven’t heard of them

user7: they’re a Monaco based potter that has a lot of simple how to videos!

user8: just watched one of them! And god their voice…🥵

user7: oh my god right?!?

user5: but are they gonna be enough to help lando?

user7: well they certainly couldn’t make it any worse tbh

user9: you got this lando! Pottery isn’t something easy to pick up - you just gotta keep trying!

user10: yeah! There was definitely some improvement by the end

Twitter

Private DMs

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 2,790,469 others

landonorris: progress! these ones were mostly standing. I’m not done yet though - catch me tomorrow night giving it another go

view all comments

user11: those looked good! Most definitely an improvement!

user12: he’s almost there! It’s literally just the little things now

user13: oh how far we’ve come! In less then a year he’s gone from flying clay to something that could generously be called a bowl

user14: and an “artistic” vase!

oscarpiastri: definitely better then last time

landonorris: mate…

oscarpiastri: you don’t pay your cleaner enough

landonorris: mate!! get out of my comments

charles_leclerc: keep trying! Maybe one day you’ll get there

landonorris: yeah say goodbye to your Christmas present

charles_leclerc: 👎🏻

alex_albon: will be there! And will definitely be recording - gotta have proof 😂

landonorris: is it national bully lando day here or something?

user15: yes

user16: yes

oscarpiastri: yes

charles_leclerc: yes 👍🏻

georgerussell63: yes

alex_albon: yes!!

maxverstappen1: yes

danielricciardo: yes!

carlossainz55: yes!

landonorris: you freaking muppets!

user17: ok but am I the only one who noticed he kept looking to the side and like beaming?

user18: no but I thought I was going insane? Like he was so soft?

user17: yeah! definitely getting the feeling he wasn’t the only one there. Just who are you looking at?

user18: dare we say little lando norris has a partner now?

landonorris

liked by potterymadeeasy, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 2,723,944 others

landonorris: haha! I did kt! A mug a vase and a bowl!! On to the next step - glazing! And you muppets didn’t think I could do it

view all comments

user19: woohoo! Congrats lando! Those look so so good!

user20: and those glazes are gonna be fire when they’re done. I use the same brand and colors he did and they turn out AMAZING

user19: ok don’t be shy drop the names plz

potterymadeeasy: those look great!

landonorris: thank you! Had a great teacher 😉

user21: ariana (potterymadeeasy) what are you doing here?

user22: thoughts are being thunk

user23: unthunk those thoughts right now

user22: sorry…thots are being thunk rn

user23: nurse she’s out again!

user21: really? Under my comment thread?

user24: I’ve connected the dots.

user25: you’ve connected shit

user24: no I’ve connected them

user25: god get a life

charles_leclerc: congrats!

carlossainz55: it only took a few months…

alex_albon: a couple of different throwing wheels

georgerussell63: and 3 different cleaning companies

landonorris: I’m gonna run you all over with my car

mclaren: legally this is a joke

landonorris

liked by potterymadeeasy, danielricciardo, carlossainz55, and 2,922,713 others

landonorris: first round of my ceramics are currently cooking in the kiln. Starting a new batch and stretching my creative skills

view all comments

user26: holy shit those look INCREDIBLE

user27: I’m so shocked! I just started watching the old streams so like in the course of a day he went from wet clay lumps to these masterpieces

user28: I’m so so proud of him - I’m currently trying to get into pottery and ceramics and watching him keep at it is so inspiring

user26: user28 you can do it! Persistence is key

oscarpiastri: man thinks he’s Picasso now…but for real congrats lando. Those look good! And functional too

landonorris: I’m only gonna give you the lumpy ones actually

oscarpiastri: I’m good thanks

landonorris: 🙃

oscarpiastri: honestly proud of you. You’ve come a long way

landonorris: thanks mate!

oscarpiastri: I’m also glad you can stop calling me crying about your latest fuck up

landonorris: you muppet!

danielricciardo: too soon to call dibs on that dragonfly mug?

landonorris: after the way you continuously kept laughing at me?

danielricciardo: in encouragement?

landonorris: 😑

danielricciardo: 🥹🧡?

landonorris: fine 🙄

user29: ok yeah good job on those designs and whatever but are we gonna mention those HEART MUGS?!

landonorris: 😂🧡😉

user29: get back here and answer some questions! What? Does? That? Mean?

landonorris: 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

user29: SIR!

maxverstappen1: i see you’re finished making my present but really? Matching heart mugs?

landonorris: not actually for you!

maxverstappen1: heart❤️ been broke💔🤕 so many times⏰ i don’t know❌🤷‍♀️ what to believe 🍃🙏

landonorris: …who are you and where is max?

maxverstappen1: I thought what we had was special

landonorris: not my favorite relationship anymore! Sorry 🧡

maxverstappen1: 💔

potterymadeeasy: those look good!

landonorris: I had a good teacher 🧡

potterymadeeasy: flatterer

landonorris: always 😉

User22: !!!

User23: shut up shut up shut up

landonorris

liked by yourpriv, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 3,123,321 others

landonorris: kiln unveiling and some upcoming projects!

listen. when I randomly decided that I wanted to learn how to make ceramic dishes, it was mostly because I wanted to make something with my own 2 hands — and when I wasn’t immediately good at it, I decided that I wouldn’t stop until I was.

Its been a long couple of months with a lot of struggles but I can finally say that I’m proud of how far I’ve come. It hasn’t been easy but the journey and the process has been fun and i genuinely can’t wait to see what comes next!

view all comments

user30: I’m? Crying? 😭

user31: omg same!!! To see how far he’s come and to hear that he’s finally proud of himself too…

user32: we’re excited for you too!

user33: excited? For what? Some more mediocre “Art” by some mediocre man?

user32: go fuck yourself. And get out of my comments. And off lando’s page

used34: user33 how about you go get some sun and maybe shove some kindness up yours! 🖕

oscarpiastri: seriously, congratulations. Those look incredible

landonorris: thanks mate! I do appreciate your support

oscarpiastri: and my cupboards appreciate your work

user34: 🩵🩵 ahhh he’s giving away his pieces

alex_albon: it’s been a fun ride watching you!

landonorris: thanks i think

alex_albon: no problem!

alex_albon: and could you send me the name of your newest cleaning crew? They most be ungodly good

landonorris: and there it is… cleaningcrew

alex_albon: anyway i could get a series of mugs inspired by albon_pets?

landonorris: I’ll need a lot of pretty good pictures

alex_albon: on it 🫡

landonorris: in fact I might need to visit in person

albon_pets: yay! We love ❤️ getting visitors

user35: UMMM?!? That 5th photo?!?

user36: IS THIS A SOFT LAUNCH? DOES LITTLE LANDO NORRIS FINALLY HAVE A PARTNER AGAIN?!?

landonorris: 🫢🤫

user36: YOU CANT KEEP GETTJNG AWAY WITH THIS

landonorris: 😂🏃🏻‍♂️💨

yourpriv: my love, I’m so proud of you! Putting yourself out there in the world to learn something new is never easy but you have done it with amazing persistence and talent.

landopriv: babe… you know I couldn’t do it without you

yourpriv: oh I have no doubt you would have gotten here on your own

landopriv: no. No i don’t think I would have. I’m a fast guy and I’m used to fast results. When I reached out to you, it was a last resort last string. If it didn’t work out with your help, I was honestly going to quit. You pushed me to get better, to stick with it till I made it.

yourpriv: 🥹🥹🥹

landopriv: I’m serious. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me — i love you 🧡

yourpriv: 🥹🥰🧡 I love you too hun

maxverstappen1: can’t lie — it was a fun ride watching you fail but I also can’t wait to see what you make next

landonorris: …thanks for your support 😑🙄😅

maxverstappen1: you know it!

landonorris

liked by yourpriv, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 2,997,245 others

tagged: yourpriv, potterymadeeasy

landonorris: no time for a soft launch. Thank you honey for teaching me pottery and for designing such a bomb ass helmet!

comments have been limited on this post

potterymadeeasy: Lando! We had a plan!

landonorris: 🤷🏻‍♂️

landonorris: love ya!

potterymadeeasy:…love you too!

[dinoshimaaa]

Dont Know How

Childe has a crush. You just take the train every morning. (fluff, different colleges au)

masterpost - sher's bday

tag: @souglias

-

It’s 8.13am. Childe hastily makes his way towards the train station, hoping not to miss the next train coming in just two minutes. Manoeuvring between the crowds of commuters, he tries his best to not hurt anyone as he swerves and skip-hops and apologises to those he bumps into.

His efforts pay off very soon— the train is in sight, and it has just arrived at the platform. Now all he has to do it make it onto the train, and only that train, no other train—

He almost makes it. The end is near. The train approaches closer, closer and Childe is almost confident he can make it. Adrenaline rushes through his legs and it pushes him forward and faster. One more step, one less person to push aside. One less apology. One more chance.

And then his heart drops when the light at the door starts blinking, signalling that the train is leaving soon. The doors shut right in front of his face, just as he makes it to the gate, and all he can do is stare at the departing train in silence.

Childe’s sadness is covered up by his heavy panting— he doesn’t think he’d ever run this fast before. And now for what? The 8.15 train has left. What was the use of only eating a single slice of bread, hoping to make it to this specific train, if it was going to leave him anyway?

Sighing heavily, he turns his frustration into a comical pout. Hopefully it won’t feel so bad anymore. After all, it’s just one day. He can do a day without specifically boarding the 8.15am train. It’s no big deal. It shouldn’t be. That doesn’t mean that Childe doesn’t feel empty after seeing the train leave, though.

As though Lady Luck had decided to spare him a smile, he hears your voice from behind.

“Oh, you missed it too?” Childe whips his head behind, bewildered and confused. You appear behind him, panting in a similar fashion, with a sheepish smile on your face. He wouldn’t have believed it was you, that you also missed the train, not if he didn’t instantly recognise the extremely familiar blue narwhal keychain hanging from your backpack.

In an instant, all sadness is gone from his being and he smiles wider than he ever did for the past ten mornings. “No way, you’re late too! I thought you would’ve made it to the 8.15am train like you always have.”

“Got stuck on the toilet this morning,” you laugh in response. Your breaths slow down, a contrast to Childe’s increasing heartbeat. “Well, if you missed the train too, then maybe this isn’t so bad.”

“Not bad at all,” Childe smiles, his eyes turning unknowingly soft. Not bad at all if you are here.

The next train comes in a couple minutes and the two of you board it together, animatedly talking about your current lessons in the two different schools you two go to. Your old, grumpy biology professor who lost his cool when a student asked a simple question in class; the friendly janitor at his school who has way better music taste than all his friends; the boring assembly talk you got put through yesterday; all become topics of conversation while the two of you stand in the packed train together.

After seven stops, it’s time for you to alight to your school. Childe wishes he could spend a longer time with you, but he was already lucky enough to board the same train as you despite being late at first. Besides, he could just as easily board the same train as you when you leave school, no big deal. You step off the train, wave to him, and he waves back, hiding his lovesick smile from you as the doors close and the train moves off. The swinging of your blue narwhal keychain remains in his mind long after the conversation has ended. He’s sure everyone else in the train is aware of his giddy smile and red cheeks.

(Childe gets off at the next stop. He immediately takes the train going in the opposite direction, and alights at a stop he could’ve reached in just four stops away from the one he boarded at.

He reaches school when it is still mostly empty, and lessons only start more than an hour later. If his classmates ever asked why he came to school so early recently, he’d never give them a direct answer. After all, it would be embarrassing to admit to going to school earlier just to be in the same train with your crush from another school.)

[petewentzisblack1312]

Gabe is engaging with people on twitter now too. Not even sure where to start with all he’s said on there in the past couple of hours. It’s a lot.

i am opening up twitter as i type this. and i dont think ill like what i see, but i think i should see it anyway.

read some of his replies. and its not as bad as i thought. which doesnt. mean. its good. i also dont know where to start. the idea that taking down the misinformation on your social media page with a huge platform is back pedaling. the weight he places on the icj finishing their ruling when theyve already proven that its a genocide in everything but intent yet. i havent gone through everything. i think itd be difficult to sort through it all myself. its technically an improvement in that he has repeatedly acknowledged the devastation of gaza. i guess. not really.

like i said in my tags, if were being completely real. hes not going to be yelled out of this by people he doesnt know on twitter. as someone who has changed some minds and hearts, the most effective way to do involves knowing them and being respected by them first and foremost. people dont logic their way into positions like this. especially in this case.

i have thoughts but i feel like theyll be muddled, so ill stop on this for now. my point is. i think he needs to log off and someone who loves him and respects him enough to check him on stuff like this needs to have a hard conversation with him. and i do think there should he social consequences to his terrible and cowardly views too, but direct confrontation from a bunch of people he doesnt know probably isnt going to hold that weight.

its sickening though that somehow just. seeing whats happened in the past few months hasnt made it click yet that its more than a 'war'. somehow. though.

[deathofakuna]

Yezzus </3

Kanye West has annoyed me more then any person should be allowed to annoy someone they dont know personally. Honestly, it has gone beyond annoyance to actual personal grievance and at this point I feel like I am in a toxic para-social relationship with an artist whose music has gotten me through so many tough times. Mental health is no excuse for this mans behaviour and if chilling with out and out white supremacists is the new wave I’m good.

I never purchased any Yeezy shoes or bought a 400 dollar white tee, I’m not that guy. I did support Ye after he said the nonsense about black people choosing slavery and vote Trump and supported him after he ran for president. All of that was dumb but not pernicious, not evil, not in my eyes anyway. Black conservative, whatever, DONDA was amazing. I just kept rocking. This new version of Ye though, it is appalling, it is a clown show, an embarrassment and no amount of what-aboutism can negate that. What the fxck is going on with Ye?

This fall from grace is unlike anything I have seen before and while that phrase gets bandied about often but it is apropos. As someone who has their own mental health struggles, as someone who is just a human being, I see that Ye is dealing with whatever he is dealing with but he is a grown up. He cant be absolved of all of his wrong doings because he is going through an episode, not in my eyes, not in accordance with his holy book. He has not offered anything close to an apology nor a salient point infact he is doubling down and now platforming proponents of white supremacy and paedophilia. It is an abomination, it is abhorrent.

I draw the line at white supremacy, i draw the line at Ye actually platforming people who want me dead, I mean I thought hey maybe there is a way back from all of this but nah, nope. It is over. You can not come back from this, not to me anyway. I dont want to hear the next DONDA, I dont want to hear anything from this man ever again and if he gets right good for him, if he comes out and apologizes and does a book and goes hard in the opposite direction heck IDK maybe there is some level of forgiveness but it is hard to say without seeing how that manifests.

All I know is that at this point Kanye and I are breaking up. Im going cold turkey on Ye and it maybe corny to some but it breaks my heart because from afar I have loved, respected, cherished and supported this man for years. I thought we had something special, then he decided to go full on nazi. It will never make sense to me, it has actually bothered me to the point of just being sick. Feeling sick. I think people can change for the better and I hope he does, but either way Im so disgusted with him that at this point Im not sure it would impact my feelings about him. The damage of what he is doing and has done is enormous.

[gloriafc]

Welcome Home Part 2

A week went by quickly and it already felt like Buckys been home for years. Rosie loved showing Bucky the things you did almost everyday. She enjoyed having her dad in her life, and he easily and happily accepted that his life would be directed by his daughter. He quickly realized that she ran things despite you making the rules, yet she was almost every bit just like her mother.

It was easy to find places for all of Buckys stuff, almost like it was never packed away. Sam took your guest bedroom as he looked for a place of his own and he was quick to get along with your daughter, the pair becoming a dynamic duo almost. If she wanted something and you'd say no she'd immediately tap Sam in.

"Rosie you can't have anymore cookies. It's getting late and you have school." She'd look at Sam and he'd shrug, "Come on y/n one more." You'd roll your eyes and shake your head, "No." Rosie would then try to look at Bucky who immediately shook his head, "No no sweetheart dont give me that face. Your mom made the rules long before you were born." You'd shake your head with a smile knowing she already had her dad wrapped around her finger. He'd pick her up and start taking her towards her room, "Come on let's get you ready for bed." She'd simply shake her head and thinking you couldn't hear her would say, "Bossy bossy." Her eyes would go wide making Bucky chuckle as you shouted, "I heard that Rosalina." She knew nothing good ever came when you called her by her government name and not a nickname. With one look at Sam you'd throw the dish towel from your shoulder at him, "Stop encouraging her. Just because I stopped being an agent when I got married doesn't mean I won't fight you."

The day Steve returned the stones you and Rosie were there alongside Bucky and Sam. Steve gladly took the button Rosie handed him from their favorite tv show, "To remember me Uncle Steve." "How could I ever forget you Rosie." You were next and he quickly pulled you into a hug, "Don't forget to keep Bucky in check for me. Someone has to keep him from doing something stupid. And we both know it's not Sam." You can't help as tears fall down your face, "Just as I got one back, the other is leaving. But thankfully this time I get to say goodbye." Steve was there for everything, ultimately he became your best friend and you became his when Bucky disappeared. You feel a hand on your back and instantly know it's your husbands. Steve looks at his bestfriend, "Take care of them for me." "You've done enough for me, I think I got it from here." With one last hug from Steve you leave the two best friends to say their goodbyes as you find your daughter staring at the pond, "Whatcha thinking Love." "Uncle Steve is leaving." You give her a sad smile and take the seat next to her, "He is. But we know Uncle Steve is going to be really happy where he's going. I remember he'd tell me stories of this woman named Peggy. He always said she was one of the most beautiful, smart, and strongest woman he's ever met. He fell in love with her. He's the reason I met your dad, the reason I have you. I think it's his turn to be happy, after he helped make everyone else happy." Rosie looks at you and smiles, "I think so too." "And that's all we could ever want for him. No matter how much we miss him, we'll always have our memories, and pictures, and videos that you can rewatch at any time."

You both watch as Steve steps onto the platform, finding your and Rosie's faces he gives a smile and salutes her like the many times hes done when hes gone with you to drop her off at school. When she salutes him back is when he disappears. A few moments later he reappears older, as Sam makes his way to Steve Bucky finds his way to you.

The one thing Bucky had to get used to was the little moments he had with you were only going to be little moments, each and every one of them getting interrupted by Rosie. He couldn't let himself get taken away while kissing you before an eww was heard, he realized he wouldn't be able to eat any type of snack in piece and understood what happened when he'd find a wrapper hidden in the laundry basket. There's a few moments Rosie let play out happy to see her mother in love like the stories Steve told her, happy to see what everyone talked about. Rosie was happy to know you never settled for any of the men that tried flirting with you while her dad was gone, and despite being so young she completely understood now why you never took your wedding ring off almost like you had a little hope that you'd see your best friend and husband again.

As time passed you were happy to watch the father daughter moments happen that Rosie missed. When she caught a cold you watched as Bucky held her in his arms with her head on his chest as he rocked her to sleep, his metal arm helping cool her warm body. And as much as it pained you to not be the one she cried for when there was a monster in her closet, you couldn't help but smile while watching Bucky fight off the imaginary unwanted guest with Rosie's fairy wand. You watched as he hummed her the song he hummed to you countless times when you couldn't sleep.

One moment you could never forget, one that always made you laugh anytime you thought about it, was the day Rosie stuck a magnet on his arm. He was sitting on one of the bar stools watching as you made brownies. You both heard a small click before scurrying feet. When you realized what it was you couldn't holding in your laugh, laughing until your stomach hurt and you couldn't breath. Bucky could only smile and shake his head as he pulled the magnet off, your reaction bringing him joy from his daughter's actions. That was what he was getting used to, he was used to Rosie being completely like you, but the little moments when he came out in her filled him with joy. He was getting used to having a family, being a father rather than just a husband or Steve Roger's best friend.

The first time he did it you almost missed the bouquet of roses left on the kitchen table. You smiled as Bucky came up behind you making you laugh when his kiss tickled your shoulder, "Always the charmer Mr. Barnes." "Only for you my love." A few moments later Rosie makes her way into the kitchen ready for breakfast, seeing the flowers she stops and looks up at you both, "Roses for Rosie?" You laugh and shake your head making her smile as it suddenly clicks in Bucky's head, "Roses?" You grin and shrug, "Maybe." Bucky shakes his head as you walk away leaving him with your mini-me.

The first time he went to drop Rosie off at school with you, he was confused to see Rosie make him grab your hand. You completely understood what she meant when she just said, "Mommy's and daddy's hold hands because they love each other." You knew she didn't want one of her classmates dads to try and make a move on you like he usually did, she didn't want him to make her dad leave. When Bucky looks at you, you shake your head your face saying you'll tell him in the car.

As you watched her make her way into the classroom after kissing you both goodbye Bucky asks, "Is it supposed to feel like this?" You want to laugh as you smile, "Like a little piece of you is gone?" He just nods making your smile grow, "It means you've already built a bond with her. That's a good thing. But now we have a few hours alone. As much as I love her I treasure the short moments I can relax knowing she's someone else's problem for a little bit." Bucky shakes his head as his arm wraps around your waist as you both head back to your car. Once you're in the car he asks, "What was the hand holding thing?" You sigh and shake your head, "She doesn't want you to leave. One of her classmates, his mom was snapped, his dad became... very friendly when I'd drop her off. Steve was my go to to sort of get him to back off because I was never interested. And it worked until he heard her call him uncle Steve." "So I'm just a pawn in her world." "Oh yeah. It's her world and were just living in it." "At least I got someone in my corner, when it comes to my wife."

Taglist:

@abrunettefangirlnerd

[swiss-cheeze]

French Road, East || Spencer Reid

Request: YES/NO: Hi! Do you take requests?? If you do, can I please request a Spencer x Reader (Including the BAU), where they are dating and the reader is a year or so younger than spencer, but just as smart and very loved by the team, and one day she has to save the team from an unsub and gets really hurt and after everyone is safe they are all really worried about her?? Idk if that made sense at all. Love you work!

A/N: OKAY SO, myself and a few other tumblr accounts got sent this exact same request from the same requester. I have spoken with all of the accounts i know of that have gotten the request and we have all mutually agreed that we will continue with our own fics in our own way on the basis/sense of ‘every writer is different and it's cool to see how others interpret the same request’, please go check out their fics too but please also dont message any of us about this little thing thats happened or saying one was better than the other because that's not what we’re doing here.

We write because we love writing and we love making worlds and being creative, this is a mutual agreement, yes we’re not too pleased with this happening but we are fine with going ahead with both of our fics.

Thank you.

A/N: I also got a little carried away with this little thing and kind of forgot about the ‘they get hurt’ part and instead left the end open for angst purposes; possibly a second part if requested? I don't know. This is also 10 full pages on Google Docs.

Words: 5727

Gender: they/them, none.

Warnings: descripton of people being beaten, kidnapping, mention and use of drugs, previous trauma of the BAU team brought to light, mentions of sexual abuse and assualt, mentions of possible rape.

Description: when 6/8 of the BAU team gets kidnapped, it's up to you and Garcia to find them before it's too late, but what happens when an old nightmare may consume someone's life again?

PART 2: https://snitchthewitch.tumblr.com/post/626602019637149696/french-road-east-apartment-23-spencer-reid

------

Spencer had slept over at Dereks after they had both consulted over their paperwork while you had gone to yours and Spencer's apartment alone, normally you two would arrive at work together with coffee ready for the day but today it just felt...off. Coffee in hand you entered the elevator and checked your work phone for any missed messages.

Derek Morgan phone (4)

Derek Morgan imessage (6)

Spencer Reid phone (2)

Spencer Reid imessage (4)

Okay, that was a bit weird. They normally called once, maybe twice, had your phone shut down last night? As you entered onto level 6 you stepped off to the side of the opening on the hallway, out of people's way, as you opened your phone for the messages, Derek first.

‘Going out with Spence and Pen’

‘Spencer misses you’

‘Pen says she wants to hug you’

‘We’re fucjlkeddd’

‘I don't think somethings okay’

‘Pick up’

Fuck, okay, maybe they just encountered a mugger? Spencer next.

‘mISS YOUUU’

‘Derek ssaysys he doeessdnt frrl ojay’

‘Someoned follow us’

‘French road, east’

What the fuck? So apparently they got followed? And then? What the hell is french road east? Was it an actual road to the east? Maybe the voice messages would help.

“HEY (Y/N/N)!” its Derek, “WE’RE HAVING OUR BEST TIME! WISH YOU WERE HERE!” the music was as loud as Derek was shouting in your ear, you couldn't help but smile.

“(Y/N)!” Spencer, “I MISS YOUUU!” you laughed at his drunk talking, “SHOTS!” and it finished.

“Hey (Y/n), we’re uh,” a laugh, it's Derek, “we’re walking back to my place now, with Pen and Pretty Boy over here,” you heard a faint shout of your name before laughter and the call ended. There was one voice message left, “someones following us. Under six foot, black clothes and looks disarmed but I can't tell from where we are and it's dark. I'll update you later (Y/n), i'll keep Pretty Ricky safe. I promise” and that was it. You brought your phone away from your ear and looked at it skeptically, Derek's story was backed up by Spencer because they both said they were being followed, Garcia hasn't messaged you though, she probably got cut off from her phone before anything happened, probably in Derek's pants pocket. Maybe they were playing a prank? No they wouldn't, Derek’s voice was too certain to be a prank. You shook your head from the thoughts before walking into the Bullpen and dumping your bag at your desk and looking around, Anderson, Mike, Daffey, even Esmerelda was at work today and yet you couldn't spot a single one of your teammates.

Okay, maybe they all slept in? You walked up to Hotch's office and knocked before putting your head through the door; looks the same as it was left. Funny. Hotch was always the first one in, if he ever left at all. You walked to Rossi's office and yet this was the same as Hotch’s; untouched and unmoved. Okay, this was a little scary, you made your way to the conference room with quick feet as the creek of the door being opened sent a shiver down your spine as no one was waiting for a case or even grabbing coffee, but you did notice the one folder that sat alone in the middle of the table. Cautiously, you made your way over to the file, picked it up and opened it, the photos inside the folder almost made you throw up.

Hotch, Emily, Derek, Spencer, JJ and Rossi were all sitting against a wall, beaten, bruised and dirty, arms positioned behind their backs. Underneath the photo was a piece of paper with bold red writing, almost blood like.

YOU WERE WRONG.

Your throat constricted as your breathing increased, you started hyperventilating as you heard the click clack of a certain pair of heels.

“(Y/N)!” Garcia yelled, she was running as quickly as she could with her platform, a file and laptop in her arms, “the-the team they've” she took a breath, “they've been taken, captured, abducted!” it took Garcia a few seconds to realise that you were close to fainting. Garcia put her things down on the table as she directed you to sit in a chair, got you a cup of water and started the breathing exercises that she remembered Spencer teaching her, he taught everyone tricks to help those when having a panic or anxiety attack as its something they would definitely encounter during their time with both agents, victims and unsubs, a few minutes passed and you finally calmed down.

“T-they, they tried to contact me” you said quietly as you looked at Garcia who was red eyed.

“And i was there (Y/n), they dropped me off home and where going back to Dereks, i didn't know if they made it or not because i had already past out by the time my head hit the pillow” Garcia reminded you, it took you a moment to realise but you where both in the same situation, and you nodded as the plan started coming together in your mind.

“Okay,” you stood up as Garcia opened her laptop, “when did you find out?” you asked, you needed to determine how long each of you knew the team was missing.

“I unlocked the batcave and I had the same file on my desk, when I saw the photos I ran up here and then to you,” you nodded as Garcia spoke.

“Okay, I want cameras of every place each of our team members have been, bars, apartments, anything and everything. See if there are any recurring cars or bikes or vans that drive past the streets, do facial recognition on anyone following them like with Reid and Morgan, see if it's happened to all of them.” you took a breath as you called in someone from the bullpen and handed them both the files you and Garcia had been given, “Get this to the lab for fingerprints, this is top priority; we have a team missing” you'd told them, they nodded slightly scared and confused before walking off as Garcia started talking.

“I've got the filters on and they're searching but it's going to take some time,” Garcia said sadly.

“Look up previous cases the BAU has had including the words ‘you were wrong’, ‘French Road’ and ‘East’, possibly other words like ‘it was wrong’, ‘they are/were wrong’ that type of thing, date it back to Rossi's days,” you ordered Garcia.

“(Y/n), a lot of those files are physical if you go back to Rossi,” the tech analyst reminded you.

“I know but still, set filters for that and go as far back as you're able, tell me if you get any hits, i'm going to go down to the file room and i'm going to go back as far as Rossi's days for the physical copies until he started going digital,” you told Garcia, she looked reluctant to let you go so you moved to where she was sitting and you gave her a large hug, “we’ll find them Pen, i promise” you mumbled into her cherry scented hair.

“What about Spencer?” she asked softly as the two of you let go of each other.

“He sent me a message saying ‘french road east’, that has to mean something,” you smiled, “i'm going to try and find that road through all of DC and if there's a hit i'm going to go there and see what's up with it, it might be where they were taken or a street Spencer noted as an important thing for us to know” Garcia nodded and quickly sat back down and started typing on her laptop as you left.

God only knows what your teammates are going through right now.

-----

“YOU SON OF A BITCH” Derek yelled as J.J. was dragged to the middle of the floor and repeatedly beaten.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT” Hotch yelled as J.J. started to whimper, the people stopped at Hotch's comment and left J.J. on the floor, Emily and Spencer scrambling with their hands bound to get to their teammate, making sure she was okay.

“What do we want? We want you guys on our side!” one of the people said, he was happy, how could this make anyone happy?

“FBI agents in our group? We’d rule the world!” another one exclaimed as the rest of the group laughed.

“It obviously took a lot of time and planning didn't it? To capture all of us” Hotch said cooly, though on the inside he was boiling.

“Six months,” someone said, it was a new voice that came from the entrance of...the sewers? Poor Spencer was probably having an attack with all these germs.

“Hey boss! We got ‘em” another one said, god there was too many to remember.

“I can see, you missed two though” the Boss said as he looked at the team, a few of his men dragged Emily, Spencer and J.J. back to the wall they all sat at, “genius's lover, and the black guy's girlfriend” the man noted as his men became eerily quiet.

“The blonde girl was with that skinny guy,” a man pointed to Spencer, “And that one,” he pointed to Derek, “but they kept going to crowded places and bumping into people that we couldn't get them, and the other...one”

“The sexy one?” the boss's voice rang out with a grin.

“YOU LEAVE (Y/N) OUT OF THIS YOU BAS-” Spencer yelled before one of the men kicked him in the stomach, causing him to cough harshly.

“Shut it druggie” the Boss said, the looks on the teams faces gave him all the pleasure, “oh yeah, we know all about you guys; how Hotchner lost his wife, Rossi has had 3 divorces, Morgan was sexually abused, Prentiss has had an abortion at 15 and J.J., sweet little J.J. had a miscarrige” snickers from the men could be heard as the team looked away, embarrassment? No, just confused as to how these people knew such intimate things about them.

“And that little lover of yours, genius?” another voice questioned, the voice came toward Spencer, gripped the poor boy's hair and ripped his head up to look up at him as a pained expression came over the doctor, “they’re in for it big!” he cackled, “gonna have a lot of fun with them when we get them later,” and with that he threw Spencer against the wall, Spencer groaned as a few of his teammates called his name but he didn't register it, only the pounding in his ears and the feeling of blood rushing down his head. And with that, the men and their boss left, the door to the sewer room shut and the click of a lock echoed around the room, the silence the team heard afterwards was loud, deafening.

------

“What’ve we got Garcia?” you asked the analyst as you walked back into the room, placing 3 files on the table in front of her.

“Okay, very few cases including those words you gave me, a lot of the cases were only one unsub or two and I highly doubt there were only two unsubs so I crossed them off and? I got nothing,” the girl sighed as she got rid of the tabs to continue working, “the facial recognition software and car registration is still going, i've got hits for all of our friends being in the places that they mentioned, all of them had unfortunately been walking at the time but they go from one camera to another and then suddenly they're gone,”

“So our unsubs are sophisticated, this definitely took time to plan and get the right things for,” you mumbled as you looked at the victim board Garcia had hastily made up on the clear plastic, each member of your team's faces were up there along with a few other colour pieces of paper for the unsubs, and that's it.

“I haven't gotten any hits on the cars either” Garcia mentioned softly, you nodded.

“Okay well, i've got three cases here that all mention those words from before. First one is a group of five unsubs from Rossis and Gideons days but a lot of them are in jail if not all of them, the second is a cult group from Missouri and the last one is a gang of over thirty people; and not all of those thirty people had been found, prosecuted, jailed, killed and etcetera you get it” you fanned out the files and opened each of them.

“Which one do we think it is?” Garcia asked, we had no leads of which one it really is, so you took a breath and read over the files.

“Okay well, the five unsubs are all in jail and only two have been let out of prison in the last six months and it wouldn't be them because they only have two people in their gang, they’re loyal so they wouldn't start a new group without the originals” you closed the file and pushed it away and moved onto the other one, “the cult is rather big but they’re based in Missouri and i don't think they’d travel all the way over here to kidnap agents. This isn't religious or anything and they are so, definitely not them” you closed the file and landed on the last one, “okay, this one,” you looked over the file as Garcia started typing away, “fifteen have gotten out of jail in the past 2 years, five where never found and the rest are still in jail” you looked to Garcia, “this could be it”

“AH HA!” Garcia exclaimed, “i have a hit on three of those people who are in the system and they are following our lovely friends” Garcia typed another second as multiple video cameras came up showing your friends walking (or stumbling depending on who it was) along with one of three people following behind them a few feet.

“It has to be them then,” you said, “i'll go back down and find the rest of the files, Garcia i want you to find every bit of land, buildings, warehouses and houses they have ever bought, i want to know what they ate for breakfast on the third of january last year, i want to know what plumbing system they used in 2016; i wante everything” you said, albeit forcefully, as you walked out of the room and towards the file room again as Anderson walked back into the conference room and handed Garcia a few papers.

“Thank you Anderson,” Garcia mumbled as he looked over the paper, and sure enough there was fingerprints that matched one of the people who followed your teammates, Garcia then pulled up the video surveillance of the BAU and the facial recognition was quick to find the man enter the room, place the folder down with glove-less hands before walking out, he had a visitors pass.

-------

The scraping of metal against the floor awoke each member of the team slowly as a few people walked into the room, placed food trays on the ground in front of each team member, uncuffed the team and then walked out. The team looked to each other as a voice floated through a P.A. system above them.

“It isn't poisoned, and if you don't eat it then that's up to you but you will starve,” and the system shut off with a harsh beep.

“Hotch?” Derek asked.

“Eat unless you want to die,” was all their unit chief said before he moved forward and started eating the sandwich he had. Emily followed suit and gave a throaty moan as she drank the water from the goblet on the tray, the others soon followed.

-------

“There's nothing,” Garcia said as you entered the room again, “they don't have any land or anything,”

“Well find something then,” you said harshly, Garcia jumped slightly at your harsh tone but started typing again as you pinned up photos of each of the members out of the prison, “have you done a deep search on each person that's out of prison and that wasn't found?” you asked Garcia.

“Yes! Yes, five of the fifteen have alibis from the night our friends got taken and i can't find the rest nor can i find those other five that were never found, they really are off the grid (Y/n)” Garcia said as her fingers flew fast against the keyboard, you looked at the clock on the other side of the room.

“Ten hours,” you muttered, “god only knows what they’re going through,” you rubbed your hand over your face and paced slightly, “we have 15 persons of interest and we can't find them, do the ones with alibis have addresses?”

“They all do, three have work and home and the other two dont work and are stay-at-home-dads, all of their names and addresses have been sent to your phone” Garcia told you as a ping from your phone sounded.

“Okay, i'm going to go and check out that place Spencer gave me before he got taken, i'm gonna grab a few other people to go to other addresses because it'll save time and then regroup back here,” you said as you pulled your phone to your ear and started calling a few people.

~

You parked the car and made your way to French Road which was, as Spencer did say, to the east of the FBI headquarters. It looked like any other little street, a few cafes and a few empty blocks, it wasn't in the city but it wasn't in the suburbs; it wasn't deserted but it wasn't crowded, you noted this. Spencer and Derek weren't taken from here because they were in the middle of the city at the time of abduction, so there has to be something here that Spencer saw to make you come here. You looked in every alleyway on both sides of the street, doing a shallow dig in the dumpsters, opening a few cafe doors and asking a few questions but ending up with nothing. You let out a huff as you looked up and down the street again, until you realised something.

This was a dead end street. The end was a large circle so cars could do a U-turn and go the opposite way, stationed at the end of the street is a path to some sort of forest/secluded jogging track, this had to be a lead, it has to be. The leaves and sticks crunched as you walked along the track, your gun positioned next to you in your hand, ready for action whenever needed, that's when your phone made a large shrill and scared you half to death.

“What is it Mike?” you asked into the receiver after realising it was the other team who was out asking questions.

“We have a lead for the group from one of the stay-at-home-dads; they’ve been planning this for awhile but haven't put effort into it except for the past six months. We couldn't get a name because the guy was too loyal and was convinced they’d come after him but he did tell us that they tried to get in contact with him to regroup, he obviously refused but they left him alone after that, one phone call and nothing else,” Mike said, you could hear the slam of a car door as he got into one of the SUVs with his partner.

“Okay, that's good Mike, get that to Garcia and see if she can try and trace that call and what tower it's pinged from,” and with that you hung up as you heard Mike say ‘got it’ before the line went dead. You looked as far down the path as you could from where you stood but didn't go any further, if this was a lead then you would need backup and probable cause as to why you're there.

~

“All five of those men checked out with the same story, they each got a call asking them to rejoin the team and they refused, the caller disconnected right after that but they haven't gotten any threats since then. Unfortunately i couldn't find a tower it was pinging from and the number was from five different burner phones too,” Garcia said as you looked over the victim board.

“Background searches with those ten we had earlier?” you asked, “found anything else?”

“Um one, he's only 26 and but its a loose thread,” the picture came onto the screen, the man looked like he could pass as 16, “James Micheal, 26, the only thing i could find was that his credit card has weird transactions over the past six months so it fits our timeline however, i can't find the account it's going to so it must be a bugged one or fake or something similar” Garcia said as she brought up the transactions.

“Found him on the streets?” you asked, Garcia grinned and brought up a video feed, and upon further inspection, plus audio, you now had a profile.

-------

“Right-o,” a voice said, the metal door screeched open causing the team to wince as he and 2 other men stepped in, “who wants to go first?” he questioned, the sickening grin could be heard through his speech as the sewer was way too dark to see 3 feet in front of them.

“Grab the kid, he had the addiction,” another voice muttered before the men moved forward.

“HEY FUCK OFF,” Spencer yelled as two of the men tried to pin him down, Derek started scrambling towards Spencer to help but after a nasty blow to the jaw he backed away with guilt.

“Get the needle,” one of them said, this caused Spencer to tense, fuckfuckfuckfuck, this can't be happening, no way are they gonna inject him again.

“Look nerd, it's your old friend!” the first man said as he shook a small clear bottle in the slim stream of light from the roof, and sure enough there was a label with the one word that caused Spencer's fight or flight to make its appearance, Dilaudid.

“NO, DON'T YOU D-” a punch to the jaw caused Spencer to splutter and breath heavily as his arm was grabbed roughly, tied and the needle entered into his skin and vein, he sobbed. The team heard Spencer whimper as he felt the liquid inject into his veins and bloodstream, the telltale shortness of breath was quick to take its mark along with the immediate drowsiness as the men walked out without saying another word.

“SPENCE” J.J. exclaimed as the man in question fell into a slumber and the team crowded around the twitching boy, it was just like last time.

“Protect him,” Hotch said, “don't let them take him in this state, fight, bite, kick, i dont give a single shit,” the team looked at Hotch and nodded as they all took a silent oath to protect their friend.

------

“Our unsubs are up to ten people, possibly fifteen or more if they have recruited new people,” you started the profile with Garcia standing next to you, “we have one person of interest as of right now, James Micheal, we have video evidence and audio evidence of him speaking to each member of the BAU team trying to proposition them, as you all know a few of our team members would have ignored him, and a few would have talked or said a simple no; those who didn't say anything he continued to walk next to and annoy until that team member said something,” you took a breath, “we have evidence of James stalking the BAU team for the past 4 months from their work, to their home, to where they go for dinner on a special night or the bar; this includes both myself and Garcia in this stalking pile, we have added extra security to our own homes.”

“James has been making up to five thousand dollar transactions to some bugged account for the past six months and another two thousand dollars to a seperate account 2 months prior to those first six months,” Garcia was now delivering the digital trail, “this means he has been with this team for at least eight months, possibly more, he is most likely new, shy and unsure of what he is doing. James is being used and he knows he is but he has no way out as our unsubs keep saying things like ‘ill kill your family’, ‘you're nothing without us’, stuff like that,” Garcia used her hands to talk as she also pointed to the victim board to the photo of James’ driver's license.

“This team on unsubs are highly dangerous and we must proceed with caution around and with them, they all have gotten out of jail in the past 2 years and they obviously have a vengeance plan, please remember this. We also have a lead to where this team of unsubs could possibly be hiding but until we have James we cannot infiltrate the area. There is a fake missing person report out for James so we can hopefully get him into questioning, thank you,” and with that the people around you filtered away back to where they were meant to be going. You turned to Garcia.

“Do you think that was enough? What if we don't get to them wh-”

“Garcia stop, we cant think like that, we are the best of the best even without the team, okay?” you held Garcia enough to ground her as she nodded and wiped her tears.

“SSA (L/n)?” a new voice asked, you looked to the glass doors and sure enough, James Micheal was waiting there.

“James,” you said as you walked towards him.

“I saw the flyers and I just have one proposition,” James said, his voice was deep and definitely didn't match his face.

“What is it?” you asked as you walked to the interrogation room and allowed James to sit down in front of you with your back to the mirror, Garcia and Anderson were already standing in the small room before the interrogation room.

“I want protection until those guys are back in prison, i don't want them anywhere near me and i don't want them to find me,” James said, his voice was ridden with anxiety, you nodded.

“We can do that James, it's alright,” you reassured the man in front of you, “can you tell us who is in this group? Where are they staying?” you asked, James nodded.

“There's ten in the group, they're off the beaten track down some street in the east-”

“French Road?” you questioned, James nodded.

“Yeah, yeah that one,” he agreed, that was everything you needed from the previous encounter, “they don't have a lot of security but they’re pretty sophisticated with what they have on hand. They know everything about all of that team though,” Jack mentioned, “Emily got an abortion and that Red dude?”

“Reid” you corrected.

“Reid, they know of his Dilaudid thing and Hotch and his wife - they know everything,” Jack was shaking now, “they-they said they were going to use that against the team, the addiction, the trauma all of that”

“They’re going to dose Reid?” you asked with your shaken voice, that wasn't a good thing. Jack nodded as he looked to the clock.

“Most likely have already,” he whispered, you looked to the clock, 12 hours since the disappearance. Fuck. You nodded.

“You’ll be taken by another agent to a safe house and let out when this team is apprehended,” was all you said before walking out of the room and letting the door shut behind you. Your throat tightened and you couldn't breath as you sunk to your knees, Garcia and Anderson rushing to you.

“Breath (Y/n), breath” Garcia reminded you, “breath with me my sweetness” she said, Garcia made more effort to show her breathing as you tried to copy her, a few minutes passed before you had finally calmed down, tears streaked your eyes as you bumbled your words.

“I-its French road, Spencer was onto something,” you mumbled softly, “th-they know everything, from Reid's addi-addiction to Emily, and Hotch's wife,” you took a deep breath, “I-I want S.W.A.T. stationed with me, w-we’re going to infiltrate that place with the hel-lp of Jack and his direction-ns, possibly a map,” you looked to Anderson who nodded and walked out while taking out his phone to call for S.W.A.T., “Garcia i dont want you there,” you said, looking at the girl, she nodded in understanding as you stood up and started walking towards the way of the S.W.A.T. team.

------

J.J, Derek, Emily, Hotch and Rossi all whimpered as each member got kicked, punched, pulled, twisted and everything in between, Spencer was only just coming to from the drugs.

“N-no, dont,” Spencer whimpered, he was weak and could barely open his eyes but soon slipped back into a slumber.

“Y-you won't get away with this,” Emily whispered as one of the men gripped her jaw, her voice hoarse and scratchy.

“Oh darling, we will,” the man grinned as he threw the girl to the floor as the others piled the team on top of the others, all groaning and silently crying.

In retrospect, (Y/n) was rather glad that all members of the team were in the room when the door was busted open.

“FBI, PUT YOUR HANDS UP,” you yelled, the words echoing around the room, the men snickered as S.W.A.T. trained their guns on the men.

“It’s alright boys,” the boss said, your eyes trained towards the voice.

“Let. My team. Go,” you said calmly, gun now cocked, the man laughed.

“Go on boys,” the men moved out of the room but the boss stayed standing.

“Grab the team,” you said to S.W.A.T. behind you, the men walked in slowly and trusted you with your trained gun as they started carrying or walking out your team members, one having to cradle Spencer bridal style, “ambulance,” you said into the mic on your vest, “we need an ambulance for a poentional OD, Dilaudid was used, possibly a cocktail of other drugs but its unknown. Dont use other narcotics and if i find out you do i will be going to jail due to murder of doctors and nurses,” the sirens wailed in the distance.

“You’ve got tendencies too,” the boss said in front of you, “murder, killing, everything” you scoffed.

“Everyone does, its whether we have the empathy and understanding of ‘that's wrong’, which is why we don't do it unlike you people,” you seethed through your teeth, “hands up, you are under arrest for the kidnapping and torture of six FBI agents,” the man stayed silent for a moment.

“(Y/n) (L/n),” the man said, “pathetically in love with Agent Spencer Re-”

“It’s Doctor,” a voice said behind you, the cock of a gun could be heard before the tell-tale sound of a bullet being fired next to you, your natural reflexes made you dive to the right (as the bullet came from the left) as the boss was hit in the forehead and fell to the floor. You looked to the gun carrier.

Spencer Reid.

Gun held out straight, no tremble and a stern look.

Spencer looked to you and tears immediately spilled from his eyes as you stayed stone against the floor, “i see you got my message,” Spencer said softly with a smile before he collapsed to the floor in a heap of limbs, the gun clattering to the floor as paramedics rush to Spencers aid.

It seemed to go in slow motion, everything whizzed past you as other paramedics helped you to your feet, your eyes glassy and vision blurred as you got brought to the back of an ambulance. Around you each member of your team was being attended to, brought to a stretcher and taken in another ambulance, eight ambulance’s in total.

It was okay, you got all of the men, all of your team was safe.

Except.

“HES FLATLINING”

“We need to get him to the hospital NOW!”

“HE'S GOING TO O.D.”

[mudwingpropaganda]

i dont know if you do background characters, but i feel like you are the right person to do my boy coconut justice. he's kinkajou's friend and is also at jma, and tui did him SO dirty... he's initially described as just being very tired and low-energy, but by winter's book he's the punching bag and joke and his described as being dumb with moon saying he has hardly anything going on in his head. i want him to have some justicebc i care him, so do u have any words on him

I planned on answering some other asks about tribes tonight, but the more I think about Coconut the more I want to talk about him! 

I agree completely that, despite Tui very much trying to act like RainWings are more competent than the “lazy” stereotype Glory was assigned, she fully embraces that “laziness” title as a writing backup if she can’t think of any other reason for a character to be uninteresting enough as not to follow. 

Anyway, I remember having an odd, specific attachment to Coconut. I can’t remember exactly why. Maybe there was just something I could cling to as a lethargic not-quite teen who couldn’t keep up with his relationships to quite register that his friend was missing. Well, maybe not that last part. 

Coconut is a RainWing who fully embraced the comfort that his tribe celebrated. He learned early that there was little need to put very much effort into things. He avoided working in excess and wasting his energy if he wasn’t going to be praised for his efforts early on. He was somewhat of a RainWing prodigy. Learning quickly how to use his venom as safely as possible, being able to adjust his scales with acute accuracy, navigating the rainforest, identifying safe food to eat.... so he had little attention from adults because he didn’t need help, unlike the likes of Tamarin who was monitored and flocked to if she were to fall from the platforms again.

So Coconut passed time by sleeping, snacking, and occasionally finding out why adults warned him away from certain frogs or plants. Otherwise, what else was there to do?

So there was a delayed reaction when Kinkajou came flocking back to him, grey scales and hugging him with scarred limbs. And at the moment, he didn’t realize that she had even been gone. But it soon began to set in. And hard. How his friend was abandoned on hellish island waiting for him. The only dragon who would praise him for giving the extra effort, he let down. He lost track of time, lost track of his relationships, and left Kinkajou to be rescued by an outsider RainWing altogether! And there’s something weighing on him about that. 

When he goes to Jade Mountain, he realizes quite quickly how “prodigy” from a RainWing’s mouth is much different from the standards of the other tribes. And the ambition he had left was crushed. Suddenly it wasn’t impressive how he could calculate the best times and places to get suntime when he couldn’t read or write. Suddenly conveying conversations with your scales’ emotions wasn’t that amazing when he couldn’t even recall his own tribe’s history. 

Coconut resigned himself to the stereotype, thinking about what he was good at nearly constantly. Napping when he wished. Eating when he could.

But that isn’t to say there’s not more going on in his head, regardless of what Moonwatcher says. He just has never quite gotten to the point where he’s ready to resign himself to the guilt he started feeling for abandoning Kinkajou. Which would open the floodgates of the inner world whirring in his mind. Because he’s not dumb, he just lacks the motivation to follow his passion or ambitions. Because adults stopped paying attention to him quickly after he proved he could survive. Because his peers stopped playing with him for “being better than him.” Because other dragonets his age scold him for being foolish and slow. 

But Coconut is full of opportunity. He takes much interest in his classes and is a quick learner like he was in his youth! Even if he has a short attention span. He clings onto subjects that he is interested in and as he learns to read at Jade Mountain, albeit slowly, he begins to pick up reading to pass time as well. Even if he often ends up rereading passages after zoning out, he finishes scrolls quickly. I feel like he would end up reading for fun even more so than the stereotypical nerds like Sora or Moonwatcher. Because he’s not running from the law or saving the world. 

Coconut may not be a protagonist, but he’s certainly an interesting story to me. He’s not quite in tune with his own train of thought and relies on directions and instruction. He thrives with attention, I feel like and is certainly a wonderful friend to spend time with. He’s attempting to get his grasp with time and retaining his attention but sometimes that’s just how it be! 

While I’m not quite sure what his ambitions are in particular, I feel like, with the positive attention from teachers (BESIDES the dumb ones we were given like Webs and such), Coconut could thrive and excel among his clawmates. Kinkajou and Coconut are still friends, I’m sure! I don’t know what she’s doing in Pantala at the moment, but when she returns, Coconut will be waiting with open arms this time. Ready to attempt to help her catch up on schoolwork (if that’s even possible). Maybe he travels with her when Kinkajou becomes a journalist or something? *I dunno noise!* 

Where Kinkajou and Chameleons are examples and byproducts of the flawed RainWing society, Coconut is an example of an ideal RainWing facing the realities of the world and attempting to settle into a place where he can either prosper with the new information he can absorb, or lay down and accept the lethargic tradition of his tribe. And I think he’s ready to try impressing dragons besides the RainWings.

Anyway, I hope this is interesting for you! I never want to tarnish anyone’s favorite characters. I did my best with this lad. :> 

---

Also, post-looking-at-the-wiki-Apologist here: Coconut’s clawmates with one of Clay’s siblings? And Coconut’s best friends with Marsh? I dunno, maybe they’re boyfriends or something. I didn’t remember Marsh existed, but sure, why not!

[imagine-something-fun]

here goes nothing ig...

So idk whos going to read this and my English is fucked so if youre gonna read this goodluck. BuT!!

Hi, how are you? ig that we havent seen eachother in a while and since then alot has changed. Now that i think about it i rlly wouldnt know what exactly, ive been so inactive on here that it seems like 4 years ago since i last posted. The reason i am posting this today is because i saw old chats on here and i read them and i got so miserable. Im not that person i was when i used this media platform and i shall never be again, and that scares the living hell out of me.

I saw all those chats eventually die off and the thing was, i dont think i even noticed, maybe not even cared. i was rlly weird but in that way also rlly strong. Maybe its just the one too many stabbies in the back or the 1 time too many that i felt excluded but idk if im still that strong.

Yes, I was a bitch. Do i regret it? to a certain level. but i now understand why i was the way i was and sometimes i still wanna be like that.

All i ever wanted was love and acceptance, once i didnt even feel happy in my own skin anymore i started to freak out. Lash out inside is fine with me, destroy your liver who cares? You can do with a few braincells less. Well i could until i couldnt. and then i got mad at everyone around me.

Im not going to say that i shouldnt have gotten so mad, but i will say that i shouldnt have gotten so sad. It wasnt necessarily directed to you but it did hurt so much and everything became too much and then i had enough.

Enough of everyone who judged me and enough of the people i called friends. But to them i will say, even tho you will never read this and maybe its better that way, im sorry i cared so much and im sorry it wasnt meant to be, but the only one i should say sorry to well that person, she is me. (hihi i rhyme)

Yk, the only thing i ever asked for was acceptance and thats the one thing i never got. ive been my share of bitchy and mean and stupid and dumb tho, i wouldnt have wanted to hang out with me either, atleast something we agreed on. But hating myself and hearing it from the only person you wanted understanding from, well that sUcks. But now i think abt it im even a little bit thankful.

Yes you were all so harsh in your own way and i tried so hard to fit in, but i tried too much and if everything wouldnt have gone the way it went, and if i never dug myself so deep i never wouldve gotten myself out of there. Out of the brainkillers, moodswings but most importantly, out of that band.

It was the one thing i loved most, and the only thing that killed me inside. Im going to admit i am insecure, not abt my body or face or hair or any of that. Im insecure about belonging. Do i fit in? and i didnt and i told myself i did. In just a few months i started hating what i loved most.

And if i hadnt been so down i wouldnt have ever seen how much i actually love him. And if i hadnt seen that and never figured i can live my life the way i want to, i wouldve never quit that band and wouldve stayed with those people alot longer.

if the odds are against me and you actually do read this on my very open social media page i dont blame you, maybe just get really embarrassed. but ill just let you know i never replaced you, once i realised i couldnt live my life with you in it, i never wanted to know anyone that even resembled you. and that thought gave me more peace of mind then any of the past 2 years ever gave me.

yes this is a very big rant about how i struggle with change and yes i know ill cringe about it in a few weeks months years whatever, but i do this for me, read it or dont. but if you did and youre reading this right now, whoever you are, i wanna ask you.

Are you happy?

because i wasnt, even when i thought i was, and maybe i just wanna give you my word of advice but dont go looking for something youll never find. itll save you alot of time and energy and trust me, youll need it.

so i think i finished up here. thank you for reading this although you really didnt have to.

Goodnight,

Jackie

[yeoldontknow]

🖊writerly conversation tag

tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel! 

questions below the cut!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year?

gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that. 

and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.

what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?

i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.

what piece has left the most impact on you and why?

probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates. 

what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?

that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow. 

how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?

i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?

ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~

- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it

- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year?

this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.

what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?

i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.

name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.

gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.

tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!

[im-a-meteorite]

i’ve been marathoning the harry potter movies since im in quarantine and i’ve been taking some notes. i’ll post them all bc why not 

sorcerer’s stone

harry knowing that there’s no post on sunday,, a genius

hedwig’s theme playing when harry looks out of the window and sees an owl flying by, very nice

hagrid doing magic at the house on the rock thing,, wouldnt the ministry be able to track that?? since there’s no wizard that lives there, they should be alerted?? or did they remove the trace from hagrid once he got expelled?? like does it work by the trace only or? bc if it doesn’t work by location then how would they know that a muggle witnessed the magic?? idk anymore

the kids staring at the nimbus 2000 and saying its the fastest model yet,, then the camera zooming on the handle w/ the background blurred -> the most straight forward foreshadowing

hagrid is actually the worst person to take harry on his tour situation,, like bro literally left him in the middle of a train station

the weasleys and harry going to the platform while theres a shit ton of ppl walking around,,, statute of secrecy where??

the great hall is on the first floor?? i thought it was on the ground floor

ew the hats

i wish the movies had dumbledore’s weird few words speeches

“theres not one witch or wizard that went bad that wasnt in slytherin” broooo

mcgonagall is so savage i love her

snape is an asshole

a crap ton of chessboards in the great hall study hall scene,, foreshadowing the challenges?

madam hooch really yeeted herself out of neville’s way

✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨✨

harry really wiped the troll buggers on his robe,, disgusting

snapes hair is lowkey on fleek tho,,

making most of the slytherins ugly bc they’re the “evil” house is just a disservice to all the inbreeding

hermione setting snape on fire is truly iconic and very extra tbh like sis why tf would u know a spell like that

seasonal transition wasnt that great tbh

overall the directing style is kinda basic

“not in the restricted section,,” rule breaking hermione is the best hermione

dumbledore’s handwriting is so extra and loopy like tf?? but it fits his character

the hedwig flying season transition was good

“immortal?” “it means you’ll never die.” “i know what it means!”

50 points each for being out of bed??? wtf is this point system

filtch saying there’s werewolves in the forbidden forest,,, thats illegal sir

hagrid calling the trio by their first names but draco by his last,, we love favoritism

harry’s thoughts r so ridiculous,, “snape doesnt want the stone for himself, he wants it for voldemort!” lmaoo wtf,, evidence pls sir,, u don’t even know he was a death eater. was it the bad vibes?? bc same

harry figuring out that the person who gave hagrid the dragon egg is voldy,, a genius

“kill us faster?? now i can relax!!” ron is so iconic i love him

“lucky we didnt panic!” “lucky hermione pays attention in herbology”

how is it that harry’s hand burned quirrel but not the skin on harry’s neck?? that shit makes no sense

yeah i really cant imagine this dumbledore fighting voldy in movie 5

hermione’s headband in the reunion scene is so cute i love it

chamber of secrets:

how is dobby even allowed to just jump on the bed?? like is it bc harry isnt his master that he can do smth like that

“dobby has heard about harry potter’s kindness” or whatever,, bro u work for the malfoys either the elves gossip or draco is waxing poetry about harry

aunt petunia saying “we have ice-cream” after that whole affair is just ridiculous

DIAGONALLY

this seems like the extended version bc i dont remember the borgin and bruks scene to be that long

the close ups with lucius and ginny’s books r insane lmao like chris columbus made it so obvious

also mr weasley’s acting is so funny like its so exaggerated

lucius malfoy is so dramatic and extra we love it

also lucius knowing hermione’s name and “draco’s told me all about you”??? bro whats with draco?? lmaoo

snape really got mad with the whole car business

mandrakes r fucking weird bro how did jkr come up with that

PERCY WALKING WITH PENELOPE CLEARWATER??? HOW DID I MISS THAT??

omg colin had so many lines?? wow

omg erol with the fucking howler,, iconic

ron’s facial expressions?? pure comedy, rupret is so good

LOCKHEART REALLY SAID “GOOD GIRL” THEN WINKED AT HERMIONE

“pesky piksy pescinomy” this bitch dumb

“why is it always me?” poor neville

omfg ✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨

ahh using the seeker position for fighting

ew draco used the m-word

the shit the basilisk is saying is so lame lmaoo

how does harry not recognize that he’s hearing a different language?? or does parsaltongue act weird

HOW IS THE WHOLE SCHOOL IN THE SAME CORRIDOR???

“i know the counter-curse that could’ve spared her” bitch the dirty looks he got?? omfg

the movies would’ve been 500% better if they had lee jordan’s iconic quidditch commentary

“scarhead” “TRAINING FOR THE BALLET, POTTER?”

“what did you expect?? pumpkin juice??” madam pomfery is a queen

dobby is dumb dumb

“who am i, hedwig? what am i?”

“reading? i didnt know you could read?”

“look at my face” “look at your tail!”

“you can’t cancel quidditch!”

“oh harry, if you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet”

lockheart: do you live here? ron: no *smacks him in the head with a rock*

“voldemort is my past, present and future” are all slytherins this dramatic??

the tension between hermione and ron in the last feast was insane

justin filtch fletchy is so ugly im so sorry i cant

prisoner of azkaban:

im sorry but harry doing underage illegal magic pisses me off every time

aunt marge 🤢

“do they use a cane boy?” “oh yeah, i’ve been beaten loads of times”

that whole scene is so chaotic

“you cant do magic outside of school!” “oh yeah? try me”

sirius really dumb for barking at harry like it makes no sense

the knight bus is probably one of the best things in this movie

“whatcha doing down there??” “i fell over” “whacha fell over for?” “i didnt do it on purpose!” “well come on then, lets not wait for the grass to grow”

harry leans over and looks for the grim, stan: “whatcha looking at?”

“yeah take it away ernie,, its gonna be a bumpy ride”

this whole thing is written and directed so perfectly

i hate how they replaced tom bc it really made no sense

all the bits of magic in the leaky caldron is so genius

fudge reminds me of trump but like dumber

the blue lighting and coloring is just great, it fits the colder vibe of the story (not like HBP with the hazy/blurry effect)

ugh the glass and mirror transitions are one of my favorite things,, alfonso curon really did that 

i love the weasleys,, also everyone looks great in this movie

omg the scene with arthur talking to harry about sirius with the sirius poster always being in sight?? amazing

contrast of light and darkness just echos the whole dementor vs patronus situation

i dont even understand why remus took the train other than for the nostalgia

the lights slowly turning off in the different carriages?? amazing

the visual representation of the dementors’ effect is great

REMUS!!!

i wish there was more emotion from remus when he’s talking about sirius,, like that was one of his only friends

snape clapping literally twice for remus,, ajhshsh

ahh the placement of the slytherin and gryffindor tables right beside each other to increase the tension and further the plot

oh yea the new dumbledore, also cool hat he has

omg the new fat lady painting

omg the candy scene?? so cute i love lads being lads. that scene just echo’s dumbledore’s light in the dark quote bc its storming outside at night and they’re creating a happy environment within the dark especially with the dementors

ah yes the clock references + following the bird to show us important parts of hogwarts and putting the whomping willow in the forefront

ron’s reading of harry’s tea leaves,, still on point tho. ron really has a knack for divination

buckbeak! omg drapple

draco is so hot especially with that ring also the slytherin pins??

“oh yeah, terribly funny, really witty. god, this place has gone to the dogs”

the kids look so messy i love it + harry’s uneven tie

HERMIONE CLINGING TO RONS ARM!!

“its killed me! your gonna regret this, you and your bloody chicken”

omg the boggart lesson

“riddikulus!” “this class is ridiculous”

fuck snape!

draco really pushed someone with his bandaged arm

remus is such an amazing professor i love him and i just miss him so much

ugh harry in this hoodie?? amazing

remus and harry’s conversation with the music :(( lily :((

wtf is that eye painting??

percy screaming about being head boy,, bro stfu

sirius is such a dramatic little bitch i love it

seasonal changes marked by the wimping willow

“turn to page 394”

what a fucking rude ass bitch,, i hate snape

harry really be seeing the grim everywhere

i wish they had “wheres wood?” “trying to drown himself in the shower”

winter transition with hedwig! + clock tower

“come and join the big boys”

i just adore this scene of the twins giving harry the map (bro i really want a series about the marauders)

whos that skinny bitch with draco???

harry’s way too rash tbh

also mcgonagall being also too nonchalant about the whole marauder’s situation?? like those werent your students

remus is a soft boy dark academia icon

if only dumbledore wasnt a dumbass,, remus could have been uncle moony raising harry with sirius

ron’s nightmare scene?? iconic

“my dad didnt strut. nor do i” umm james potter was also a drama queen sooo probably strutting

“you, YOU FOUL LOATHSOME EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH” “hermione no, he’s not worth it”

sirius’ dog form really looks like a rabid dog omfg

the part where hermione grabs harry while she’s on the wimping willow omfg

“only one will die tonight” YOU DRAMATIC BITCH UR NOT MAKING THIS BETTER

“finally the flesh reflects the madness within” “well you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you remus?”

why the fuck is the shreaking shack is swaying in the wind??

QUARRELING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE

why the fuck didnt they knock peter out?? like tf?? they’re actually dumb dumb there were so many ways for this to go right

this man really sent 2 13-year-olds on this dumbass mission

buckbeak really beat up remus,, “professor lupin’s having a really tough night”

harry’s a fucking psycho with this patronus bullshit,, i cant

can they stop screaming while flying on buckbeak?? someone might hear them

im still mad sirius didnt get his name cleared,, so much would’ve changed

“we did it” “did what? goodnight” i fucking hate dumbledore and his mindlessness omfg sometimes i wanna punch him in the face

fuck snape for outing remus as a werewolf,,, but also he really didnt have to resign. like istg wheres the marauder energy when it comes to defying everyone??

i wish the movies had went into the marauders’ history :(( its one of my favorite aspects of the series

[ilovejevsjeans]

At the Forefront

Its a gladitorial sport, it can be seen as macho testosterone fueled. How easy is it to ask for help if youre struggling, having a tough time for whatever reason?

Dan: You use the word macho and I guess I thought of that, it’s probably a bit harder for men to break through that because there’s a perception of “I’m big and strong and the provider” and that old way of thinking but you know the thing which helps me is having close people around me, friends and people that I can trust and if I do get emotional or something they’re not going to call me weak or anything. They’ll put their arm around me and understand where I’m coming from so, I think that’s the biggest thing. I think everyone has the ability to open up and at times wants to open up but it’s that uncertainty of who to open up to. So it’s just finding someone you can really lean on. And even if that person is someone you’re not sure of I’m sure 9 times out of 10 they might surprise you and be open ears and arms. 

Could you tell anything to a teammate? Because as you know in F1 they’re the benchmark and any weakness can easily be exploited by a teammate and used against them on the track.

D: Yeah that’s a good question. You probably have to be a bit more selective with what you say to a direct competitor but you know on the flip side I think if you have enough confidence in yourself a lot of the time you can be happy to put everything on the table and deep down you’re like “I’m not longer vulnerable, I’ve put everything out there so at least my plate is clear so I can go out there and give it my all”. It can probably work both ways

You can go from hero to zero very quickly in F1, not least on social media. I’m wondering what your techniques are for handling the stress, the scrutiny, the pressure, the demands.

One thing I’ve always found helps is having other interests. If my life was only  F1, I think that would consume me and the pressure of the sport would. Not having a good race would probably eat me in inside for to long. If I have a bad race or a moment where I’m not to happy with my performance or what’s going on in the sport it might consume me for the Sunday evening but by Monday I’m trying to put my thoughts somewhere else and I don’t know go out and do some sports or go see some music. I think to just have an escape. I think that’s important for everyone whatever your job is. To have an interest outside of it that you can go and attend and clear your head a little bit.

Is there a moment that you could share in your career where things looked or felt bleak and what you learned from that episode?

A highlight for me as back in 2013, still relatively early in my career and I was very strict on myself. I was very disciplined and wouldn’t allow myself a beer or to go and party and you know what was I a 23/24 year old kid, it wasn’t really normal. In my head I was doing everything right, and the results for a few weeks weren’t there and I was kinda banging my head against the wall wondering what else could I do. I just got away for a bit. I was like maybe I’m putting to much into and this and maybe I’m going down a rabbit hole of trying to look into to many details and maybe I need to step away for a bit. It was the Montreal race and Montreal is close to New York and I’d never been to New York so I was like “I’m going to go to New York for a few days and I had some friends with me and I was like let’s just go”. Basically just not think or talk about racing and just go to a new city where racing doesnt exist and have a few drinks and go out and just take a break. That was really the best thing that I did. It really eased me in a lot of ways and it also kind of made me appreciate the sport like missing it everyday made me happy to go back to it after that holiday. 

That’s really interesting, cause I was gonna ask you about the lifestyle. Cause F1 is seen as a very glamorous profession . You’re on the road, you’re living out of hotels, you’re away from family etc etc. How do you cope with that and you’ve done it from an early age. You came to Europe and that’s a big step. So how have you managed to shape your mind and keep yourself on the straight and narrow when sometimes it’s just a hotel room and you?

That’s one of the hardest things. I think that’s what actually can break a lot of kids. When they move home it’s really having that long term vision. The first years of me living away from home, yeah I missed home, you know at that point I wasn’t earning any money or I wasn’t guaranteed to make it in F1 or anything but I was like “okay yes this isn’t particularly perfect right now but this is what everyone went through”. This is what Schumacher went through , this is what all the good guys did and this is what I have to do if I want to get there. So it was just I saw it as that. It was a sacrifice but ultimately if this means I can race F1, get paid to do the job I love , then this is nothing. So it was really just that and its all perspective and mindset. It’s understanding that sometimes there is a bit of a slow grind but if it’s going to get you a step closer to what you want then I think anythings worth it. 

It’s clearly working cause this is your tenth season in F1 so you know what you’re doing. But I wonder how much of that do you put on you as a person and as a driver? You know the ups and downs, you’ve talked about Montreal, also as someone whos prepared to stand up for what he believes in. I mean look at Lewis Hamilton for example, he seems to have grown into this statesman about black lives matter. But in terms of you and your development in what matters to you would you stay quiet and stick to racing or are you someone who would go “No I need to speak up here”

Yeah that comes with age. Through confidence I guess. Even here in F1 in the drivers meetings you know when I first got to F1 I was quite shy and nervous and didn’t feel like I really belonged in the room so I would be less vocal, less opinionated on somethings and now I feel like I’ve paid my dues in the sport and if I feel like more of a right to speak my mind. Whether that’s right or wrong I don’t know it’s just kind of what I went through in my head and you evolve as a person and you find things that work for you and things that dont and you learn from other people as well. From the path they’ve gone on and whether that did or didn’t work for them. You meet some amazing people and become a sponge basicaslly at a young age in an intertnational sport with you know people from all around the world. I think you know, whether it’s mental health or black lives matter, a lot of this stuff is new for so many people and it’s about allowing yourself to be vulnerable and if you really feel strongly about something to speak up and normally I think you can find it goes a long way. And we have that platform in which to do so. 

He seems so level headed don’t you think so Mark. He’s able to ride the storms and whirl pools in Formula 1 and also ride the rapids too and when he gets the right car,he has the ability to show his talent. He’s one of the best out there, the best overtaker there is. He’s able to take the slings and arrows very calmly. I was fascinated to hear about that trip to New York early in his formula one career, just when he had to clear his mind. He was thinking, maybe even overthinking, that everything he was doing should be contributing to success in F1 but it wasn’t. He just had to unplug for a while regroup, rethink with friends and suddenly things start to flow 

Yeah that was really interesting. We think of Daniel Ricciardo as not just a great racing driver but as something as a joker, having a good laugh and as a very jolly individual. So to hear him talking about some of the darker sides of being an elite sportsperson was really interesting. My big takeaway from listening to Daniel talking to you John is that when we think about some of the criticisms that Lewis Hamilton gets for some of the interests he has outside of F1 is effectively what Dan is saying are really good things for you mental approach to the sport. That by taking time away and actually doing something different that when you get back into the car, suddenly you’re refreshed and you’re able to crack on. Interesting to hear that in their different ways Daniel and Lewis are essentially doing the same thing and benefitting from it. (X)

[owletstarlet]

19 shy, 27 giggly or 28 first for tanunatsu if you dont mind 💖

[#19, a shy kiss, from the 76 kiss prompts meme. Sorry it took so long! Established relationship because lord knows we need it right now–]

*** 

“Is that a new shirt?”

Whatever Natsume had been about to say never makes it out of his mouth. Instead he follows Kaname’s gaze down to where the triangle of soft pink is visible, flecked with bits of green, where he’s tugged at his scarf and begun to fiddle with the zipper.

“Oh,” is all he says, not quite meeting Kaname’s eyes. That, and a noncommittal “mm,” as he zips his jacket firmly back up and yanks the scarf back into place.

Kaname blinks, puzzled. “You can take your jacket off if you’re uncomfortable. It’s really warm in here.” His own jacket lies discarded across his knees; he’d needed it in the dim coolness of the aquarium where they’d spent the afternoon, but the little waiting room on the train platform is generously heated and getting stuffier by the minute.

“It’s fine,” Natsume says, expression now perfectly smooth, arms coming up to rest loosely across his chest. If Kaname didn’t know by now how to pick out the taut thread that the words rested upon, he’d have missed it.

And Kaname probably should have dropped it there. Except there’s high spots of color on Natsume’s cheeks, and he’s clutching a hot can of vending machine cocoa. “Are you feeling okay?” he asks, instead, hand hovering of its own accord above Natsume’s shoulder. He’s struck, then, by a worse possibility than him getting ill, worse and likely paranoid of him, that Natsume could be hurt and concealing it with the jacket and that Kaname had somehow missed the signs. He doesn’t think Natsume would do that, or at least that he’s a lot less likely to than he might’ve been even a handful of months ago, but it sets off a flurry of unwelcome images through Kaname’s head.

“No, it’s—I’m okay,” Natsume says, quickly, and he looks sincere enough that Kaname’s chest unclenches, a bit. He blows out a breath. “Just. The shirt’s a bit…much.” His mouth tugs into a brittle line. “It was Touko-san’s idea,” he tacks on. “…mostly.”

“Mostly?”

Natsume makes a tiny non-answer of a sound in his throat and shifts a little in his seat, now studiously avoiding Kaname’s gaze. And the picture he paints huddled there in the little plastic chair, cheeks dusted pink, is so frankly adorable that Kaname has to firmly remind himself not to let it show on his own face. Not if Natsume’s legitimately uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to take your jacket off if you don’t want,” Kaname says, slowly, “but it’s forty minutes until the next train, and I really doubt anyone else is going to show up,” he says, gesturing towards the deserted platform outside. A pause. “You know I won’t laugh at you or anything, right?”

Natsume doesn’t answer, but he does look up, and something has softened behind his eyes. It’s like there’s a few dozen honeybees trapped behind Kaname’s sternum, all knocking into each other and clamoring for escape, to see that look directed at him.

“O-or, um,” he continues, “If it’s really bothering you, you can wear this one.” He plucks at his own long sleeves. “I’ve got a t-shirt under it, and you could change in the station bathroom.”

The look Natsume gives him is just long enough for Kaname to think he should’ve just dropped it after all. But then his expression shifts into something considering. Very slowly, he reaches up and tugs his scarf loose.

“You said you won’t laugh,” he reminds Kaname, his tone just this side of defensive, and he unzips his jacket.

And it’s a near thing, for Kaname to hold back the sound that bubbles up in his throat, when he sees.

“I have this one,” he blurts, instead, finger coming up to lightly poke a spot just over Natsume’s stomach. “A-and this was the first I ever got—” he brushes just below Natsume’s collarbone, but the image printed in pale green onto the cotton is half obscured by Natsume’s jacket, still covering his slightly hunched shoulders. His fingertips catch the hem. “Can I—” he cuts himself off, upon realizing how very still Natsume is holding himself, like he’s been holding his breath. He lets his hand drop. “Sorry.”

When Natsume meets his eyes, though, he looks vaguely startled. “Wait, you. Want to see?”

“Yes.” The word falls all too quickly from Kaname’s lips, and he feels his face grow warm.

“…oh,” is all Natsume says, like he’s not sure how to parse this information.

“It’s just, um.” Kaname has to resist the urge to chew on the inside of his cheek. “I really like it. But you don’t have to.”

Natsume still very much looks like he’d rather melt into his scuffed-up plastic seat than take his jacket off fully, but to Kaname’s surprise, a pale smile touches his lips. “I know,” he says. And he shrugs off the jacket.

And…objectively speaking, it’s not all that different from many of the other shirts he owns, the newest of the several button-downs in the light colors and playful patterns that Touko seems so fond of selecting for him. He’s never indicated that any of those shirts are a little much, but then again Kaname knows that Natsume would deeply value anything chosen just for him by somebody who cares for him half as much as Touko.

But what’s got Kaname’s full and undivided attention at the moment is the shirt’s pattern. Spangled across the cotton, in splashes of green and purple and gray and darker pink, are an array of succulents and desert flowers, each no larger than a bottlecap. There are easily a dozen varieties, not fantastically detailed but not dissimilar to the ink-and-watercolor illustrations in the guide book he’s had the longest—a library book Dad had brought for him when he was twelve and laid up with pneumonia for the better part of a summer. A book which had, incidentally, ended up in a box of his possessions the next time they’d moved house. Natsume had flipped through that very book last weekend, sprawled out lazy and warm across Kaname’s bed. Kaname had kept tight reins on the impulse to volunteer entirely too much information as he looked at each page over Natsume’s shoulder, while Sensei offered his periodical commentary on which plants looked like they’d be the tastiest fried up in oil. Sensei had been entirely unmoved by Kaname’s insistence that they’d probably make him sick to eat, and had given Kaname’s own little collection of plants on the desk and windowsill enough long conniving looks that Natsume had cuffed him on the head for it. Kaname feels warmed to the core at the familiar images before him now, at the slowly-relaxing shoulders and the still-flushed cheeks of the boy wearing them.

“Where did you get it?” Kaname asks, tugging gently at one sleeve. Pachyveria exotica, his brain supplies, reflexively, at the sight of the pale green starburst beneath his thumb.

“That secondhand shop, the one near the post office across from the school. I was there with Touko-san. She chose it—well.” A sheepish twist of his mouth. “She saw me looking. And she said it’d be…nice, um. To wear. The next time you and me went out.”

“…Oh.” He thinks his own face must have gone a bit pink now, too. Then he asks, because it seems important somehow, “Did you want to get it? You know, for your own sake.”

Natsume smushes his lips together a bit, stares very hard at a spot on Kaname’s shoulder. Finally says, “…yes? I mean. Yes. I tried it on, and, uh, Touko-san said it looked nice. She said you’d think so too, and she sounded really really sure about it, and I guess I ended up agreeing with her?” His expression turns sour. “Then I tried it on when Sensei was around. He laughed so hard he choked on the eel he was eating.” His eyes narrow. “He’s not here right now because I threatened him.”

Kaname glances out at the platform, then, and the dark treeline beyond. Of course he’d noticed Sensei’s absence, but given that Natsume hadn’t seemed at all tense as he surely would if they were wholly unprotected, Kaname had figured that Sensei wasn’t far. If he wasn’t, then Kaname can’t quite help wondering what is out there watching over them. He forces his attention back to the matter at hand, though, saying, “I mean. Ponta doesn’t wear shirts, so I wouldn’t trust his opinion. And—” He closes the space between them, places both hands lightly on Natsume’s still-tensed shoulders. “Touko-san was right. I like it. So much.”

The twitch of Natsume’s lips, however slight, feels like an accomplishment.

Until he begins, “…but, ah—” before apparently thinking better of it, cutting himself off with a tiny shake of the head, looking of all things frustrated with himself. “Never mind.”

Kaname doesn’t press him, but he waits, not letting go of Natsume’s shoulders.

Eventually, Natsume huffs out a short breath, and glances down at his shirt. “I don’t remember the names,” he admits. “Of any of them. And I know you’ve told me. Probably more than once. And we’d even looked at your book together. The library over near the park didn’t help either, they only really had gardening books and—”

“You went to the library?” Kaname interrupts, unable to help himself.

“Um.” It takes a little longer to happen this time, as Natsume realizes exactly what he’s just said, but the shade his cheeks eventually land upon is spectacular, like they could scald Kaname’s fingertips if he touched them. “Just for a little while,” he mumbles, fiddling with the hem of the shirt where it sits on his thigh. “I just checked the one section.”

“You went to the library,” Kaname repeats, slowly.

“But I couldn’t find the—”

The rest of his words are lost, then, between Kaname’s lips.

He can taste chalky canned cocoa on Natsume’s mouth; and Natsume doesn’t quite kiss him back, but some of the tension bleeds out of his shoulders beneath Kaname’s palms. After a moment, he feels Natsume’s arms snake their way around his waist.

When they finally part, Kaname doesn’t even get the chance to see if that astounding blush has changed any, because Natsume promptly plants his face against Kaname’s chest. Kaname huffs out a chuckle and rests his chin atop the crown of his head, silky hair tickling at his throat.

“Are you hugging me just to hug me, or are you hiding?” he asks, grinning.

“…you’ve done it, too,” comes the muffled accusation.

“That’s fair.” He brings a hand up to smooth Natsume’s hair, so incredibly fond that the feeling’s practically risen up to stick fast in his throat. “…You know it’s not a test, though, right? This, I mean.” He taps a spot on Natsume’s shoulder, letting his finger trace the strand of pale green pods tipped in plump, pink buds. Sedum morganianum.

“Mm,” is the only reply.

“I mean. I know a lot of the names are a mouthful. The only reason I learned them is because I kind of had too much time on my hands when I was twelve, so. It’s really okay.”

At that, Natsume finally pulls away, just enough to tilt his head up. By now his blush has receded to something a little less alarming. “You can tell me again,” he says, quietly, but eyes alight in that way that never fails to make all of Kaname’s insides feel somehow all bunched up and ready to burst at the same time.

“I don’t want to bore you,” he says, once he finally locates his voice.

“You won’t.” The answer is immediate, certain. “I mean. I’m still not sure I can remember them all, but. You’re really happy when you talk about them. That’s not boring.”

Oh.

Kaname leans forward, tucks an unseen smile into Natsume’s hair. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Kaname peers down across what he can see of Natsume’s back, from this angle. “…it might be easier for you to see which of these is which if I show you in a book.”

“I’ll have to put my coat back on when the train comes,” Natsume points out. Regardless, he makes no attempt to untangle himself from Kaname, his face once more squashed into Kaname’s chest, arms still looped around his waist.

“Good point.” Kaname leans forward as much as he’s able, squints a little, and touches a spot just below Natsume’s shoulder blade. “This one’s sempervivum calcareum.”

He feels a warm huff against his shirt. “You know I have no idea which one you mean.”

“This one,” he says, and taps the same image where it’s printed over the edge of his sleeve.

“Thanks,” comes the dry response, and Kaname thinks his face might crack in two from the sheer and idiotic magnitude of his grin.  

“You’re welcome. Here’s aeonium arboreum.”

***

[Pseudo-based on a thing I wrote about Tanuma’s hobbies: between Tanuma with his succulent collection and Natsume with his ugly button downs they make one(1) Disaster Gay. Notably I had @mayorofcattown’s awkward aquarium date piece  firmly in mind while writing this one; not that this scenario was intended to have been after a first date, but I was very charmed by the idea of Natsume getting All Dressed Up for a nice aquarium outing… ] 

[kingjasnah]

Is there the full list of brandersons favourite games reposted somewhere?

i dont think so? or not that ive seen. u can literally just sign up for the newsletter on his website but screw it ill just post them for u. it sure was a TRIP scrolling past these to get to the interlude though. undertale is on this list.....im shakign at the thought that adolin was based off ff10 tidus but i cant get it out of my head now

#10: Katamari Damaci

I love things that make me look at the world in a new way. Katamari did this in spades. It is an imaginative, bizarre vision with unique gameplay. It is like nothing else in the world and I love it for all its strangeness and occasional lack of gameplay polish.

I was transfixed the first time I played it, and have looked forward to it being remade and rereleased on multiple different consoles. I love the cute—and somehow creepy at the same time—storyline. It feels like a fever dream more than a game sometimes, and is probably the closest I’ll ever get to understanding what it’s like to do drugs.

#9: Undertale

This is an oddball on this list because I think it’s the only game that is not a franchise from a major studio—but is instead an indie game, which I believe was originally funded on Kickstarter.I loved how this felt like a novel as much as a game. It was one person’s vision; a single story told really well, with a huge amount of personality. The humor was just my kind of wonderful/terrible, and I was instantly enamored with the characters.That probably would have been enough, but it is a nice deconstruction of video games as a medium—and has not one, but multiple innovative gameplay mechanics. Together, the package left me enamored. This is a work of genius that I feel everyone should at least try, even if it ends up not being for them.

#8: Fallout: New Vegas

I have played all of the core Fallout games, and I was one of the (it seems few) who was really excited when it moved from turn-based tactics to first-person shooter. While Fallout 3 was good, it didn’t have the charm of the first two.New Vegas delivered on everything I was hoping to see. The charm was back, the writing sharp, the quests imaginative. The gameplay was engaging and branched in a variety of directions, the gunplay was solid, and the atmosphere immersive. I of course love the first two games in the series—but New Vegas combines everything I like in gaming into one package. (As a note, I own the Outer Worlds, and am looking forward to digging into it. Consider this item on the list a recommendation of other Obsidian games—like Knights of the Old Republic Two—regardless of genre, as I’ve found them universally to be superior to their contemporaries.)

#7 Super Mario World

When I was eleven, I flew (alone, which was very exciting to me) from Nebraska to visit my uncle Devon in Salt Lake City. Before I left, my father gave me $200 and told me to pay for my own meals while on the trip—but of course, my uncle didn’t allow this. At the end of the trip, I tried to give him the money, which he wouldn’t take.I mentioned my dad would take the money back when I got home, but that was okay. Well, my uncle would have none of that, and drove me to the local mall and made me spend it on a Nintendo Entertainment System. (This uncle, you might guess, is an awesome human being.)Since that day of first plugging it in and experiencing Mario for the first time, I was hooked. This is the only platformer on the list, as I don’t love those. But one makes an exception for Mario. There’s just so much polish, so much elegance to the control schemes, that even a guy who prefers an FPS or an RPG like me has to admit these are great games. I picked World as my favorite as it’s the one I’ve gone back to and played the most.

#7: The Curse of Monkey Island (Monkey Island 3)

I kind of miss the golden age of adventure gaming, and I don’t know that anyone ever got it as right as they did with this game. It is the pinnacle of the genre, in my opinion—no offense to Grim Fandango fans.This game came out right before gaming’s awkward teenage phase where everything moved to 3-d polygons. For a while after, games looked pretty bad, though they could do more because of the swap. But if you want to go see what life was like before that change, play Monkey Island 3. Composed of beautiful art pieces that look like cells from Disney movies, with streamlined controls (the genre had come a long way from “Get yon torch”) and fantastic voice acting, this game still plays really well.This is one of the few games I’ve been able to get my non-gamer wife to play through with me, and it worked really well as a co-op game with the two of us trying to talk through problems. It’s a lovingly crafted time capsule of a previous era of gaming, and if you missed it, it’s really worth trying all these years later. (The first and second games hold up surprisingly well too, as a note, particularly with the redone art that came out a decade or so ago.)Also, again, this one has my kind of humor.

#6: Breath of the Wild

I never thought a Zelda game would unseat A Link to the Past as my favorite Zelda, but Breath of the Wild managed it. It combined the magic of classic gameplay with modern design aesthetic, and I loved this game.There’s not a lot to say about it that others haven’t said before, but I particularly liked how it took the elements of the previous games in the series (giving you specific tools to beat specific challenges) and let you have them all at once. I like how the dungeons became little mini puzzles to beat, instead of (sometimes seemingly endless) slogs to get through. I liked the exploration, the fluidity of the controls, and the use of a non-linear narrative in flashbacks. It’s worth buying a Switch just to play this one and Mario—but in case you want, you can also play Dark Souls on Switch... (That’s foreshadowing.)

#5: Halo 2

Telling stories about Halo Two on stream is what made me think of writing this list.I’m sometimes surprised that this game isn’t talked about as much as I think it should be. Granted, the franchise is very popular—but people tend to love either Reach or games 1 or 3 more than two. Two, however, is the only one I ever wanted to replay—and I’ve done so three or four times at this point. (It’s also the only one I ever beat on Legendary.)It’s made me think on why I love this one, while so many others seem to just consider it one of many in a strong—but in many ways unexceptional—series of games. I think part of this is because I focus primarily on the single-player aspects of a game (which is why there aren’t any MMOs on this list.) Others prefer Halo games with more balanced/polished multiplayer. But I like to game by myself, and don’t really look for a multiplayer experience. (Though this is changing as I game with my sons more and more.)I really like good writing—which I suppose you’d expect. But in games, I specifically prefer writing that enhances the style of game I’m playing. Just dumping a bunch of story on me isn’t enough; it has to be suited to the gameplay and the feel of the game. In that context, I’ve rarely encountered writing as good as Halo 2. From the opening—with the intercutting and juxtaposition of the two narratives—to the quotes barked out by the marines, the writing in this game is great. It stands out starkly against other Halo games, to the point that I wonder what the difference is.Yes, Halo Two is a bombastic hero fantasy about a super soldier stomping aliens. But it has subtle, yet powerful worldbuilding sprinkled all through it—and the music...it does things with the story that I envy. It’s kind of cheating that games and films get to have powerful scores to help with mood.The guns in Two feel so much better than Halo One, and the vehicles drive far better. The only complaint I have is that it’s only half a story—as in, Halo 2 and 3 seem like they were one game broken in two pieces. And while 3 is good (and Reach does something different, which I approve of in general) neither did it for me the way Two did, and continues to do.

#3: Final Fantasy X

You probably knew Final Fantasy was coming. People often ask if the way these games handle magic was an influence upon me. All I can say is that I’ve played them since the first one, and so they’re bound to have had an influence.On one hand, these games are really strange. I mean, I don’t think we gamers stop quite often enough to note how downright bizarre this series gets. Final Fantasy doesn’t always make the most sense—but the games are always ambitious.Ten is my favorite for a couple of reasons. I felt like the worldbuilding was among the strongest, and I really connected with the characters. That’s strange, because this is one of the FF games without an angst-filled teen as the protagonist. Instead, it has a kind of stable happy-go-lucky jock as the protagonist.But that’s what I needed, right then. A game that didn’t give me the same old protagonist, but instead gave me someone new and showed me I could bond to them just as well. Ten was the first with full voice acting, and that jump added a lot for me. It has my favorite music of the series, and all together is what I consider the perfect final fantasy game. (Though admittedly, I find it more and more difficult to get into turn-based battle mechanics as I grow older.)

#2: Bloodborne

Those who follow my streams, or who read other interviews I’ve done, probably expected this series to be at or near the top. The question wasn’t whether Souls would be here, but which one to pick as my favorite.I went with Bloodborne, though it could have been any of them. (Even Dark Souls 2—which I really like, despite its reputation in the fandom.) I’ve been following FromSoftware’s games since the King’s Field games, and Demon’s Souls was a huge triumph—with the director Hidetaka Miyazaki deserving much of the praise for its design, and Dark Souls (which is really just a more polished version of Demon’s Souls).As I am a fan of cosmic horror, Bloodborne is probably my favorite overall. It really hit the mix of cosmic and gothic horror perfectly. It forced me to change up my gameplay from the other Souls games, and I loved the beautiful visuals.I am a fan of hard games—but I like hard games that are what I consider “fair.” (For example, I don’t love those impossible fan-made Mario levels, or many of the super-crazy “bullet hell”-style games.) Dark Souls is a different kind of hard. Difficult like a stern instructor, expecting you to learn—but giving you the tools to do so. It presents a challenge, rather than being hard just to be hard.If I have a problem with Final Fantasy, it’s that the games sometimes feel like the gameplay is an afterthought to telling the story. But in the Souls games, story and gameplay are intermixed in a way I’d never seen done before. You have to construct the story like an archeologist, using dialogue and lore from descriptions of in-game objects. I find this fascinating; the series tells stories in a way a book never could. I’m always glad when a game series can show off the specific strengths of the medium.In fact, this series would be #1 except for the little fact that I have way too much time on Steam logged playing...

#1: Civilization VI

This series had to take #1 by sheer weight of gameplay time. I discovered the first on a friend’s computer in the dorms my freshman year—and I can still remember the feeling of the birds chirping outside, realizing I’d been playing all night and really should get back to my own dorm room.That still happens, and has happened, with every game in the series. I have a lot of thoughts on this series, many of them granular and too specific for this list. (Like, it’s obvious AI technology isn’t up to the task of playing a game this complex—so could we instead get a roguelike set of modifiers, game modes, etc. to liven up the games, rather than just having a difficulty slider that changes a few simple aspects of the game?)I’ll try not to rant, because I really do love this game series. A lot of people consider IV to be the pinnacle of the series, but after V unstacked units—and VI unstacked cities—there was no way I could ever go back. If for some reason, you’ve never played this grand patriarch of the 4X game genre, it’s about starting with a single stone-age settler who can found a city—then playing through eras of a civilization, growing your empire, to try to eventually get offworld with a space program. (Or, if you prefer, conquering the world.)It’s a load of fun in the way I like to have fun, and I feel like the series has only gotten better over the years. My hat is off to the developers, who keep reinventing the series, rather than making the exact same game over and over.Now, about that request for difficulty modes...

there are runner ups but for the sake of anyone whos on mobile and cant get past a read more (first of all omg im SO sorry) ill refrain. anyway he thought WHAT loz game was the best before botw?

[ohjaimelannister]

Do you think Hoppers actually dead though?

O K A Y.

I’ve been looking for an excuse to pull all of this together so here we go! NO Anon, I do not think that Chief James Hopper has gone and died on us. There’s no REAL evidence (there are easter eggs though) however and the Duffer Brothers could still pull the rug out from under us but hey.

No I do not believe that Hopper is dead. Although some things can be interpreted as pretty final and if the Duffers really kill him off I will never watch this show again, because it’s horrifically SHITTY writing and im already super tired of that this year lmao.

One - There is no body? We were never showed a body or what’s left of one? We have seen bodies for Benny, Barb, Bob and Billy (and even people who were in it for like 5 minutes). THEY EVEN PRODUCED A FAKE WILL WHEN THEY WANTED US TO THINK HE WAS DEAD. THEY AREN’T AGAINST SHOWING US BODIES!!! Which brings me to my next point!

Two - They also aren’t against to showing us death. Lots of gory detailing death, WHOEVER it is. Billy died horrifically but you saw it even though hes a kid. Bob got ripped to shreds.  And even those dudes at the beginning of S3 died horribly? They still showed it. Hopper’s death??? It cuts away. You see NOTHING. AT. ALL. There aren’t even any remnants OF a body where he was standing, and Joyce goes down there and LOOKS. Surely shed find something? Gooey grossness like the bodies at the beginning? Nope. You could argue that they’d be against showing us the death of a beloved hero and a main character but. Again. Bob was beloved and arguably one of the sweetest characters in the show and he was ripped to bits in front of us and Joyce. Billy was a kid for all intents and purposes, still he died a horrible death. Not one bit of that was cut away.

Three - If you look in the shots hes not on the platform when the thing explodes????? like at all? Either that’s badly shot or its done deliberately because he’s just not there anymore? There’s the portal to the Upside Down and you can see a ladder in the shot too, so maybe he either went into the Upside Down or down the ladder and got caught by the russians?? We just don’t know.

Four - We see the devastated Eleven and the aftermath of what happened at Star Court. Then it jumps to three months later? Okay, odd that were not shown anymore of the grieving or the funeral. Then of course Eleven read the SPEECH. Think about the end of it specifically and about LEAVING THE DOOR OPEN 3 INCHES!! You can see from one of the final shots of Star Court that the gates not CLOSED. It was healing but it never fully closes. So Hopper could be in the Upside Down, or travelled through it to Russia on the other end?? Who knows. Point is, they included this line at the end for a reason. Whether the reason is that hes actually dead and they’re just being profound or that its a hint about his fate, its meaningful.

Five - During the ending the song HEROES by Peter Gabriel plays, this is the same song that was placed over them finding Wills fake body, and after all the goodbyes and the ‘speech’ where it ends with “keep the door open three inches” well. Come on.

Six - Then it cuts to Russia and you hear the “not the american” line, and Hopper was called “the American” throughout the series by that Russian baddie. Should I start waving Red Flags here or???? Then again, a lot of people are saying this could be Brenner. Okay I 100% get your logic Im with ya, and for a few days I’ve also thought it could be Brenner. But here’s the thing. Elevens powers. Brenner makes her use them to spy on a russian man in Season 1. Hinting that there’s more going on here than just super powers, kids and other dimensions. Don’t forget that in the 80s the world was in the grip of the Cold War, and things would have started reaching a boiling point for this long before 1985 when it ‘officially’ began. We were never given any answers about why Brenner was spying on this man, or even Russia. Or even if he WAS spying for the US. Nothing, it’s a throwaway scene. Or IS IT? Russians show up in Season Three somehow knowing about the Upside Down, having failed at their own attempts to open a gate in Russia. They somehow know that its Hawkins they need to be in to successfully open their gate and potentially get monsters to use, oh I don’t know, in a WAR???? How would they have known any of this information to begin with?? Oh I wonder. We were told all about Brenner being alive and out there in season two (and we were never told WHERE and this is not referenced again), but as far as I can remember Eleven has never shared this with anyone else, even though it’s completely RELEVANT information. And as far as I can remember (its been a hell of an emotional few days) I dont think were given any explanation about how the Russians knew about the Upside Down, Hawkins or anything. So maybe the reason they knew is BECAUSE BRENNER is the one giving them their directives? Because hes worked for THEM this whole time???

Seven -  Interestingly also Eleven lost her powers? JEEZ ISN’T THAT CONVENIENT!!! Because the first thing shed use them for is to look for Hopper even if she was told he was dead. Shed look, 100% for the man who saved her, gave her a home, loved her, worried for her, cared for her like she was his goddamn OWN. Conveniently though now SHE CANT??? Interesting.

Eight -  And now. There’s the voicemail message. In one of the episodes (my brains so fried I cant remember which one sorry) Murrays gives out his landline number, and when you call it you can hear him give a message to Joyce. You can listen to it here.  You can tell this is after season three, because why would he talk to Joyce Byers? Surely if he was trying to reach someone for information it would be Hopper?  “I have an update, its best if we speak in person" an update??? About what??? Why is he coercing with joyce???  Notice how he says “it’s not good or bad but its SOMETHING” and then says “we’ll talk about it in person” (or something like that) why would he be calling joyce with an ‘update’?????????? AND ON WHAT EXACTLY?? INTERESTING!!

Nine - Theres this interview with the cast specifically ABOUT Hopper, the death and the post credits scene. And I love David Harbour but, you cannot lie for shit my angel.

Ten - Millie has said in an interview “ Her dads gone, or so she thinks” COME ON.

Eleven - Again WE KNOW DAVID HARBOUR IS LIKE THE MARK RUFFALO OF STRANGER THINGS. And hes bad at keeping shit to himself. Hes already told us at the end of last YEAR, literally a month after they finished filming season three that the Duffers have told him the ending to the series as a whole. Why would any creator do this for a man they have effectively just fired, because his character died? Why would they tell him? They wouldn’t.

Tweleve - Again. David Harbour, bless his heart, I think its trying to give us HINTS and bread crumbs to follow. Last week he changed his instagram photo from Hopper in S1 to the number 6. Odd. Today he changed it to the number one :

Twelve continued - Basically if he changed it to an 8 next, we know hes trying to hint at Murrays voicemail message and this is a clue for Hopper. Because why else would he bother?

Thirteen - Theres also this screenshot from Cara Buonos instagram where she literally SAYS about him being in Kamchatka, and uses the Russian word for PRISON. (Of course this could just be a joke between the actors

Fourteen - Theres also the fact, which is not evidence mind you, that its incredibly shitty writing to have both the men that Joyce Byers loved/loves to die in front of her? And actually having her put the action in motion that kills the man she loves? No. I wont accept that. And weve been shown her non willingness to believe in peoples death, everyone and their mothers told her Will was dead and she was being crazy. Did she listen? No. And she got her boy back. Will she think once she has a clear head that Hoppers dead? Maybe. Which is why she asks Murray to investigate. Hence the Voicemail Message.

Fifteen - Its also incredibly shitty and hard to swallow, for Elevens sake too. I mentioned already how much she loves Hopper and finally got a true parent in him. Do you honestly think they’d put her through all of that just to lose him NOW? Like i said, its convienent how shes lost her powers at this very crucial moment.

Sixteen - DAVID. HARBOURS. BEARD. RIGHT. NOW.

And SEVENTEEN -Just in case y’all are having trouble with any of that it looks like David Harbour has let sorta slip (my god I fucking ADORE THIS MAN LET ME TELL YOU). I dont know how reliable this is mind you because its not coming from a BIG source, but HERE he hints at knowing who the American is, after telling everyone else (see the interview above ^^) that he doesnt know and he cant say anything. 

‘During an interview with David Harbour, I attempted to delicately get around the fate of Jim Hopper. Harbour, however, came right out and gave it to me straight. “This is the question I’m going to have to dance around–” I began, only for Harbour to interrupt me and ask, “The ending?” “Right,” I said. “Is there a way you can talk about the future of Hopper without…” I trailed off here, only for Harbour to ask: “Well, did you see the post-credits scene?”I had, of course. And so I straight-up asked: is that Hopper behind the door? According to Harbour, that’s the most likely scenario. Throughout the season, the main Russian baddie refers to Hopper as “the American”, and having another Russian refer to the mysterious prisoner in the same way was the big giveaway.Of course, knowing that Hopper is alive, and knowing how he survived and ended up in Russia, are two different things. We’ll have to wait for season 4 to get that answer. And we’ll have to wait to see how things unfold from there. Will a big chunk of season 4 involve Hopper escaping that Russian base, and trying to get back to America? Time will tell. One thing is clear: Hopper still has a long journey ahead of him; not just physically, but emotionally.’

SO, basically Jim Hopper has not left us, Joyce or Eleven.  And if the Duffer Brothers have done all this to screw with us, well. Im not gonna be responsible for what I do.

I FEEL JIM HOPPER IN THIS RUSSIAN PRISON TONIGHT!!!

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!!!!!!!!

[elriell]

Do you ship SQ now?

I am so sorry I have no clue when this was sent as my ask box is awful at notifying me but I think I checked about… idk a week ago? So hopefully you haven’t been waiting too long. 

There is a long and a short answer, short is yes. and i have been a multi shipper for a few years now (even tho i haven’t been on tumblr in ages prior) I even made a post about it WAY back when which you may have missed, So I will copy and paste it below (bare in mind this was written years ago when I first sort of began multi-shipping) but it still relates to this day for those who might be confused as I was a 100% CS shipper back in the day, they are still my OTP for the record! 

I just started enjoying other areas of the fandom too. If you dont care for the long answer no worries I’ll leave it under the (read more) bar and just ignore it, but if you do want to know a little about my experience and feeling with all the toxicity within the f OUAT fandom back then, then go ahead and give it whirl and come back and we can chat

Hellooooo. *blows out breath* Where to begin…

I made a post months ago about fandom negativity and how over time it got to me, I’m going to copy parts of it over here and add some more, newer thoughts since that post…And hopefully if you have the patience to sit through it you’ll understand a little better by the end.

*

I am a Captain Swan shipper (along with many other ships), I have been a member of the CS family for years and have loved it, I have made so many lifelong friends that I talk to outside of tumblr daily, however, there is something I have been…struggling, for lack of a better word, with for a little while.

Negativity. Fandom negativity to be specific.

(I also want to preface this by saying I am not calling anyone out at all, people who are discussing and standing up for their characters and/or actors. People who are having debates, wording discussions in way I never could articulate so beautifully, are awesome. I enjoy these posts and reblog them often. This is not directed anyone in the slightest.)

But there has been a lot of negativity surrounding certain areas of the fandom, there is no reason to beat around the bush, I am talking about anti-sq/anti-regina stuff. I see it on my dash from a few shippers, I see it in the “OUAT Spoilers” tag and on twitter and everywhere. There is literally this dark energy everywhere. This hostile feeling, and maybe I am the only who feels it but I am just going to honest and straight up say, it got to me.

It crept up in a way I can’t even explain…

I am the biggest believer in ship and let ship, shipping is supposed to be fun! It shouldn’t matter what is canon and what’s not, it’s about enjoying characters that you think have potential. It’s about discussing it with your friends and making fanart, and just enjoying. And yet at some point during my time in the fandom something in me changed.

I let the bad apples get to me, I let the hateful people get to me and twist my views on an entire fandom. When I thought of the Swan Queen fandom all I saw was the bad, and became so bad that I’d see a gifset or anything in relation to them and feel physically ill. Like a pit in my stomach, like a uncomfortable twist every time they came up.

I realise this sounds melodramatic, I mean how can seeing a gifset actually cause such a strong reaction? Such strong negative emotions… I suppose it was the accumulation of so much anger and bitterness towards the bad apples  (and also seeing my dash constantly with negativity, it is like being in a bubble) that I forgot that they aren’t a entire fandom, that I became hyper sensitive to everything surrounding SQ. It was confusing, I absolutely love ships between women, if anything 8/10 i prefer them, being a bisexual women i’ve learned take/appreciate representation where we can get it or possibly get it. [sidenote: it f* sucks that there isn’t more out there and i could rant about that for daaays] but anyways in this one show something just didn’t click originally.

I get so upset when I see posts about how the CS fandom is the most hateful fandom because there are so many amazing people who have become my family and who literally are like literal sunshine and I think to myself “How can you (sq’rs) judge a entire fandom by a handful of bad?”

But then I know what you’re now thinking… Isn’t that what you’ve been doing, Morgan? Yes, yes it is.

I don’t want to argue about which fandom has done the most wrong, or which is more guilty of hate, I just want to move forward. I want to watch the show again and have fun doing so. I want to watch OUAT and not feel annoyed every time Regina is on screen with Emma (because there is no reason for it). I want to watch OUAT with a lighter heart, like I use too back in season 3.

“I don’t know how, but I’ve simply decided to let go of all my hostile emotions, lets call it my new years resolution. At the very least I am trying to and you know what, I think I am getting somewhere good, I felt a lot better lately, my mood is up. You might have noticed a slight increase of Regina on my blog, I saw a gif of Regina looking at Emma (from 4x12) and thought “oh, you know I can see what you mean about the way she looks at her sometimes…” (tbh she looks at a lot of folks that way), it’s simply Lana’s acting.  But my point is, that physical negative reaction is gone.

And I am so fucking happy about that.”

-A quote from my months old post

That feeling has only gotten better and stronger in the months ahead, I have followed a few multi shippers and begun to interact outside of my usual circles, and its going good. There are always days were anti’s irritate me but I think that is normal, overall I am happier.

I am so sorry if this feels fake to some of my friends on tumblr, who I have openly talked negatively about characters/ships with, I don’t take back my beliefs on  some of their actions or our discussions, I’ve simply chosen to try and move past it. And look at it from a wider lens…

I don’t know if I have properly articulated myself during this post but I really just wanted to get this out in the open because I love and adore the CS fandom but I also want to open up a little more, I know that although I few of my friends on here wont agree with my opinions on trying to be more regina/sq friendly I am sure you’ll support me because you always have, and thats what friendship is.

HOWEVER, back to the main purpose of this swan-queeen side-blog I understand and acknowledge that this is my change, and my choice. A lot of people don’t have to follow me in it and don’t want it on their dash, I have a little under 5k on my main and I know that they followed for a specific set of content. With that in mind I am putting this kind of content on a separate platform, if you want to join me I’d love that, if not I understand everyone has a right to their feelings/opinions.

Anyways I have so much more to say but I’ll stop here or you will be falling asleep, I am always here to chat and discuss things so feel free to hit up my ask/messenger/etc…